#534 Catching food in your mouth

Neil Pasricha

Toss it mean and catch it clean.

Drop that jaw, tilt that head, and let’s get down to business:

• Level 1: Pop Practice. It’s important to start small with popcorn. There are no penalties for misses here, since the corn is light and doesn’t collect much dust if it hits the ground. This is a baby step and it will take time to master, but it’s an important rite of passage before hitting the next levels. (Note: In some circles, this level also covers marshmallows, Cheerios, and Corn Pops.) 5 points.

• Level 2: The Grape Beyond. Yup, next step is big ol’ grapes. Usually someone on the other end of the movie couch is munching on the vine in their own little bowl. If you’re feeling a bit hungry, simply drop your mouth and tap the couch cushion while saying ‘Uhn! Uhnnnnn!’ to get their attention. Soon a cold, hard grape should be flying fast at you. If the toss is good you should catch it perfectly. Other fruits like raspberries and strawberries fit here as well. 10 points.

• Level 3: Dog On A Bone. This extremely advanced move involves catching something larger than your actual mouth. An apple, peeled orange, or corn on a cob are good targets. You need to time the molar chomp perfectly and be prepared for embarrassing T-shirt stains and a black eye. 25 points.

Yes, when you catch food in your mouth you’re suddenly sitting high on top of the snack-eating universe. You’ve just combined equal parts laziness and athletic ability in a daring couch potato feat the likes of which this family room has never seen before. So when you nail it smoothly you know what to do.

Chomp it loud.

Chew it proud.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

1,494 thoughts to “#534 Catching food in your mouth”

  1. When something is about to fall off the table and you catch it just in time. Not only did you save the movement of bending over to pick it up, you also get nice compliments about your reflexes. AWESOME!

  2. Awesome is seeing those first blooming bluebonnets in March telling us that Spring has arrived in Texas and summer’s on its way!

  3. Realizing your phone’s ringer was on during an important event, but that you miraculously didn’t get any calls

    2. This is awesome but kind of sad because you didn’t have anyone trying to get ahold of you for a few hours. :(

  4. Having an all-out fight with your significant other, only to end up sitting on the couch in the end laughing at something that happened yesterday. AWESOME!

    1. Those are like the Holy Grail…ridiculously difficult to find and a miracle when you do!

  6. Waterfalls.

    Some are big, some are tiny, but they’re all pretty. They sound awesome, they mist you with water, and they’re an all-natural awesome thing that you hope will be present on your next nature walk. :)

    1. Transylvania county, NC– “Land of the Waterfalls”– has more waterfalls than any other NC county (out of 100).

      And I live there.

      Awesome!

      1. You lucky ducky! That’s awesome!! I hope you take advantage of their awesomeness as often as possible ;D

    2. There is a wonderful waterfall in my grandma’s backyard (the grandma that has a house that smells like veggie soup). Its only about 10 feet tall, but I love to go out there and just sit and watch it.

    1. Ha ha, yeah! The surprise factor is always huge, and it’s also fun that someone went to all that trouble just to give you a laugh.

  8. After just discovering this blog yesterday, seeing that you, the creator of this blog, and the people who read it, think the same things I do is

    AWESOME.

    1. Yeah, isn’t it awesome to see that so many people think so many things are so awesome?! :D

  9. A friend popping up on Facebook chat at the exact same moment you typed “Hi!” to them.

  11. Having a song stuck in your head and spreading it to your family. Cause everyone knows, if you say even one line of an oldie, Dad will be singing it all evening long.

    Awesome

  12. The Office Fridge and Microwave

    Getting a cold drink and a hot meal for lunch without actually having to leave the office.

    AWESOME.

    1. The office where I work (as a graduate assistant at a university) is a converted old attic room with all the building rejects as the furnishings.

      The microwave timer doesn’t work and has a broken leg, so it’s way off balance — can’t put anything too sloshy or full-to-the-top in there. The fridge freezes all the stuff we put in it EXCEPT stuff that’s actually supposed to be frozen! They’re both covered in that hip, 70s-era faux wood grain, and they both smell kinda … not right.

      But you know what? I love ’em. They’ve been home for me for the past almost two years, and I’ll be sad to see them go come May. I wouldn’t trade their convenience and reliability for anything!

  13. Travelling by train

    Faster than driving. More room than the bus. Beautiful, moving landscapes outside your window. The journey is just as fun as getting to the destination. What more could you ask for?

    1. Me and my sister wanted to go on a trip to Vancouver from North Carolina. We decided we wanted to go by train because we wanted the actual process of getting there to be part of the trip. We weren’t just going because we wanted to see my uncle, we wanted to go to…. go. That was why a train sounded so appealing! Hopefully one day we’ll go (even though my uncle has since moved)!

    2. I’ve never had the opportunity to travel on a legitimate train (unless the Metro in Washington D.C. or the MetroLink in St. Louis count? Yeah, didn’t think so.) Maybe one day … :)

      1. :-( me neither. In one of my 4th grade classes, we were getting ready to have a field trip to ride a train and I was so excited about it….. we ended up moving before I could go. That was the only opportunity I have had so far.
        Me and hubby are trying to plan a train ride with us and my daughter soon though. There’s one train where you can basically rent one of its cars and it takes you out to camping areas and disconnects from your car. That car becomes your camper. The train comes back the next day to pick you up. I thought that was awesome. Train ride + camping + having something unusual as your camper= awesome.

  14. Comics in the newspaper

    No matter what the news of the day is, there’s a promise of a smile on the comics page. Some old, familiar faces (like in Peanuts, Family Circus, & For Better or Worse). And a zippy punch line in the final frame.

  15. A good haircut.

    One where you don’t have to trim it the next day or put a hat on as soon as you leave the shop, or go back the next day to have it fixed. One where the hairstylist listened to you. Or your hair
    turned out like the photo you brought in.

    Awesome!

  16. Shuffling through your iTunes library and finding a really great song you haven’t listened to in ages.

    AWESOME!

  17. Being the first to make the path after a snowfall–walking, sledding, or skiing. Awesome!

    1. My sister and I would always get so upset if someone “messed up” the snow in our yard before we had a chance to go out and play in it. Darn those early bird neighbor kids and/or stray dogs who wandered through the yard before we could get out there and do it ourselves!

    2. It’s especially awesome if the snow crunches when you’re walking through it; you take that first step, you’re standing on top of the snow for a split second and then, CRUNCH! Your foot stomps right through to the bottom. Take another step and repeat :)

  18. What I think is awesome is finding an awesome website with an even better blogroll that allows me to discover new and fabulous websites to keep me entertained.

  19. Finding things for cheap is wicked awesome.
    It can be anything- from plane tickets to a new pair of jeans. Every time you find something super cheap and on sale that you were (or weren’t….) going to buy anyway it’s so exhilarating! Actually, a summer trip was recently made possible for me because my mom found wicked cheap plane tickets! That’s awesome! Here I come Massachusetts!

  20. doing something at the same time, in the same way as your friend. For example: randomly plopping down in a chair and making the same sighing noise. at the same time. or “leaping” off the sidewalk at the same time. in the same way. The best part is that it’s never planned. it just happens. and that’s one more thing that makes your friendship…
    Awesome!
    (note: also works with siblings)

    1. Ohhhh yes, this is a fun one! I love when this happens. It’s funny, too, because it sometimes happens with strangers. There have been times when I’ll notice that I grab my drink at the same time as someone from a different table, drink for about the same amount of time, and set the drink down at the same time … all on accident.

  21. Counting stairs.

    Maybe it’s a compulsion, I’m not sure. But I always subconsciously count stairs whenever I ascend/descend them. I’m not trying to keep track or remember (15 to my basement … uh, I mean … well I can’t help but remember that one!) how many there are, I just happen to count. Every time. Awesome(ly weird)!

    1. I do this!! I don’t usually remember how many, unless I climb them on a regular basis.
      I count a bunch of odd things….like when I’m putting food on my plate, I will count how many spoonfuls I put on it…..I don’t use a certain number or stop after so many…I just count them.
      I count when someone knocks at the door…. I dunno….maybe I just really like to count things.

    2. Ahhh I thought I was weird, I totally do this! And for some reason I have this thing where ending up at an even number is better than odd? I don’t know, but glad to know there are at least 2 others of you out there :).

  22. Listening to people very seriously discuss something that doesn’t require that level of seriousness.

    The other day, as I sat at my office desk, plugging away at whatever task I was doing, I overheard a fellow GA at the desk behind me. She’s talking quickly and in hushed tones, so I try my hardest not to listen to what she’s saying incase it’s private.

    Her voice gets louder, though, and I can’t help but hear her discussion … about … harvesting her crops on Farmville! I almost died laughing. Now, I’ve never played Farmville (Facebook game, for anyone wondering what it is), but I’ve heard it’s super-addictive. Apparently addictive enough to prompt people to have dire conversations with others about the state of their farm.

    Awesome!

  25. Getting goosebumps when you hear a great song.

    On the radio, at a show, at the coffee house, in the subway! You never know when you’ll be hit with these ickly prickly lumps of good feelings. Maybe it’s a song you know all the words to, or maybe it’s a first-time listening experience that stops you in your tracks. The genuine heart-felt talent jolts your heart and tickles you from the inside. You smile, wipe a tear from your eye, clap your hands, sip your drink, or board your train. But you’re forever changed by those few seconds of bumpy bliss.

  26. Landing your very first job. It can be McDonald’s, the grocery store, a pig farm. You’re probably going to be the undermost underling, but in the end, going home with a pat on the back and a paycheck feels

    AWESOME!

  28. Senior pictures.

    I know someone has already mentioned ID photos, but this one deserves its own category of awesome.

    There are weird poses, awkward stances, strange collages, embarrassing props, and a variety of wardrobe changes. There are head-tilts, hands-by-faces, hair-tossed-in-breezes, and several other classy arrangements.

    I know in my own pictures, I had a terminal case of Humidity Hair — Rain Hair’s long lost evil cousin. I was wearing a turtleneck sweater in the sweltering heat of August, trying to “act naturally” by leaning on a barn door, sitting idly by a lake, and coyly walking along a railroad track.

    Yeah, all winners, lemme tell ya.

    But as always … awesome!

  29. The talents your friends and family have.

    It’s great to take stock of all the cool things that the people in your life can do. One of my friends is majoring in graphic design / illustration and can do amazing things: drawing, painting, web design, Photoshop, etc. Another friend is a total computer guru and is my go-to buddy for any and all technological issues. My dad is a Jack-of-all-trades pharmacist who can dispense medical advice as well as contribute tips on how to fix this, build that, and re-vamp this. I have a friend who writes really well, an aunt who makes killer desserts (metaphorically, of course, though probably also a tiny bit literally), and a former employer who is a lawyer and once got me out of a speeding ticket.

    Recognizing your friends’ and family members’ skills is great. Praise them, thank them, and use them! Everyone likes being able to do what they’re great at, right? Be sure to return the favor with your own awesome skill(s). Everyone benefits! Awesome!

    1. I never really thought about that before.
      Most of my family is musically talented. My brothers can play drums and the guitar…me…. all I can play is the flute, but I am a writer too.
      My grandpa is a history fanatic…..

      P.S. Getting out of a speeding ticket is always awesome!

      1. Honey, all I can play are the rhythm sticks, wood block, and kazoo! So playing the flute is definitely a musical talent.

  30. Meeting someone with the same name as you! Having that automatic bond is just awesome.

    1. Unless you have one of the more popular cross-gender names. The bond just doesn’t exist. It’s more like a sigh and “You have my name too? Aww-man..!”

      It would be cool for a less common name. Birthdays are also interesting when you share the same date with someone else.

      1. Yeah, my last name is Johnson.

        I mean, who DON’T I share a name with? Hahah :)

        But it still is awesome. Even though I guess my first name is pretty popular, I don’t actually know very many Laura’s. I was the only one all through elementary school, and even in middle/high school, there were only a few of us.

  32. Finally feeling better.

    You know those longs week when that same stuffy nose just doesn’t go away? Or when you sprain your ankle and those crutches seem like they should be permanently embedded into you arms?

    Well, the day that you don’t need to stuff every pocket with tissues finally comes. You store the crutches back in the closet and take some limp free steps while breathing though that lovely nose of yours. You’re feeling better…and it’s AWESOME!

  33. The third item.

    It always happens to me whether I get down to the bottom of a bag of skittles, cup of fries, container of chicken nuggets, or anything else delicious. I think there are two left, then one, then none, but BAM. A last minute grope-check reveals that there is one golden goodie trapped in a crevice ready to be dug out.

    So…damn….awesome.

  34. When you are able to pull forward through an open parking space. Did that today when leaving a crowded parking lot when the only open space happened to be right in front of me. I did not have to check my blind spots, wait for old ladies to slowly walk behind my car, or stare over my shoulder at the guy and his blinking turn signal waiting for my spot and giving me 4 feet to back up. Today, the open spot to pull through instead of backing out, was awesome!

  35. When the guy in the stall next to you flushes at the exact moment you let it all out.

    …Sometimes you can’t hold it in anymore, no matter how much noise it’s gonna make. Thank goodness the person doing business in the next stall over chose that moment to flush the toilet, covering up whatever the hell your body does.

  36. I wake up and get to work earlier than my workmates. I am notoriously known for my lateness. Starting today I am in the top third early birds even before my boss arrived to the office! Got my work finish earlier as well^_^

  37. Dancing like no one’s watching

    We’ve all been there. Your feet start itching, and your head starts twitching. You feel your heart beat a little faster with excitement. Maybe you’re in the grocery store, or walking down the sidewalk, or in an elevator. You hear that distant music and you feel the call to dance! You let loose! Sway your hips, tap your feet, twirl your head, or even go all out crazy! You just give in to your wild side and break out into some jammin’ moves. No worries about who sees you. This dance is for you and you alone. No regrets and no embarrassment. You just danced like no one’s watching!

  39. When you develop the ability to say the alphabet backwards and then you show your unique skill to your friends leaving them speechless.

    1. So, one of my friends told me that saying the alphabet backwards is a popular sobriety test amongst cops pulling over potentially drunk drivers (this has neither been confirmed nor denied, I only heard it the one time).

      If this is true, I would surely fail and be slapped with a DUI ticket/jail time. Anytime I’ve tried to say it backwards, I always have to, at some point, stay it from the beginning until I get to where I’d mentally stopped while going backwards. If that makes sense.

      So kudos to you for being able to do that! I’d be one of those speechless friends.

      1. Yes, that is a common way to check for sobriety. Also is stretching your arms out to your sides and then touching your nose. And also walking a straight line. Here, watch this:

        1. This video CRACKS ME UP! My friend had me watch it a few months ago! Aside from the un-coolness of this dude driving drunk (if it’s real and not staged), it’s a really funny video.

          Step, bump! Step, bump bump!

          But I am about 98% positive I could pass those other two tests drunk OR sober. I’ve got some pretty mean coordination skills :) I have a friend, though, who can’t walk a straight line to save her live … even sober. So she, too, would be in trouble, like I would with the ABCs thing.

  40. Feeling sore the day after a workout

    You know the day, you blasted everything at the gym. Your arms feel like lead weights and standing up is a bit of a challenge too. After you plop into bed, the real challenge begins. Your muscles whine and scream and protest the next morning. They’re still and aching. However, you know you did a great job! All that hard work will pay off. It feels good. This soreness is just a sign of your hard work, and not to mention AWESOME!

  41. One super awesome thing to do:

    Step 1: Put on a red shirt and khaki pants

    Step 2: Find the nearest Target

    Step 3: Go there

    Step 4: Be friendly and help people!!!

    So fun, so awesome- that a simple change of wardrobe can disguise you as a Target employee.

    1. This made me laugh because I’ve actually seen people in Target sportin’ some red-n-khaki, and when they were approached by a customer, they did NOT treat it as an awesome situation.

      Good one! :D

    2. Switch out the red shirt for a blue one & you’ve just gotten a second job……this time at Best Buy

  42. Getting a surprisingly low utility bill.

    What’s usually $100 is suddenly $60. Even if it’s just for this month, CELEBRATE that price decrease, because it sure is … awesome!

  43. When you can get money for referring a friend.

    Our apartment complex has referral incentives. I got FIFTY BUCKS(!) just for having my friends mention my name and unit number when they applied for their apartment here. All they had to do was live here a month, and the money was mine. Now that right there is some good, free money. Heck, I’ll be your one-woman advertising team for that kinda dough! :D

    Awesome!

  44. Awesome is when you turn on your car stereo to a rockin’ guitar solo. No ballad lyricism, no hair metal screaming, just pure rock fury as you tear on down the road. Extra points if it’s the “Freebird” solo, a) because you cannot deny that it is awesome, no matter how jaded you have become, and b) because it means you got to skip the bit of the song where there are actual lyrics. Awesome!

  46. #534 Olfactory Triggers

    One day you are at a bookstore doing a little random browsing when an older woman in a pantsuit passes you in the aisle. You just barely register the cloying flowery scent of her perfume when… WHAM! You’re all of a sudden back in Mrs. Stankowski’s 3rd grade class during a test clutching your pencil in one hand, pink pearl eraser in the other, desperately trying to remember how to do long division with decimals.

    A moment later you are back, heart pounding, and realize that the older woman’s perfume was the exact scent that old Mrs. Stankowski used to wear every day of that year. You were just treated to a surprise flashback thanks to an olfactory trigger. Due to the way your brain subconsciously attaches memories to certain smells that flowery perfume just took you on a emotional roller-coaster to a memory that you haven’t thought of in years. When ever circumstances are right and the exact combination of smells or one unique smell is present it can instantly trigger the recall of a memory long ago stored in the furthest archives of your mind.

    Whether it’s the smell of fried baloney making you remember grandpa’s babysitting, woodsmoke and BO recalling that backpacking trip, or wintergreen gum and car wax reminding you of your high school boyfriend you were just blindsided with a trip down memory lane.

    AWESOME!

    1. Smells truly are so powerful and are very much attached to memories. This is a great one.

  47. Falling asleep on the couch and waking up in your bed. This happened to me last night. Now I don’t know if hubby carried me to bed, if I got up and walked there by myself or what. Regardless, it was awesome to wake to the comfy softness of my bed and my memory foam pillow when I didn’t fall asleep there.

  48. Seeing everyone come together in times of need.

    Please remember and pray for the miners that fell and are still lost due to the explosion here in WV.

    1. That is a terrible tragedy. I am so sorry for the people of WV. My thoughts and prayers are definitely with you all.

  49. Getting a surprise day off

    It’s Sunday afternoon, and you dreading going to school the next day. While spending your last few hours of freedom in front of the tv, you voice you opinion. This leads to those magic words. “You don’t know? Tomorrow’s a holiday. There’s no school tomorrow.”

    Once you hear those words, the search is on. You make it your goal to find every bit of evidence you can to support the declaration. You start with the school calandar, but with no luck. Nothing is listed for that day. You get a little luckier with you next idea, the online calander! You look and see those magic words: “Teacher In-service Day – No School.” The next step, is to find even more evidence to make sure it’s not just you’re imagination making you read want to be true. You look at the school announcements and see that there aren’t any for monday. That’s all the evidence you need.

    Your Sunday of dread just turned into your Saturday of. . .

    AWESOME!

  50. Seeing what your top-played songs/artists are.

    This sounds weird, but it’s kind of fun. For instance, Last.fm “scrobbles” all your plays and keeps track of all kinds of fun statistical data that tell you what you listen to most, makes recommendations, and shows you what musical tastes you have in common with others.

    http://www.last.fm/user/shootingxstars

    Or you can just look in your iTunes library (play count). It might surprise you! At one point, Feliz Navidad was my top-played song. Really? Feliz Navidad? I didn’t know I liked it so much, but ok!

    1. Ha ha! Feliz Navidad, that’s hilarious!

      I’m a subscriber of last.fm, too, and I’ve noticed that even though I have hundreds of songs in my library, it has a few “favourites” that it plays “randomly” CONSTANTLY. Other songs never get played. It’s weird.

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