#240 Being single

Neil Pasricha

We see you, we hear you.

We see those movie endings and we hear those greeting cards. We know the cheesy quotes and we sing those ballads at bars. We feel those preaching choirs and we read those magazine tips. We feel our parents pushing and we hear your chatty lips.

Yes, we know having a boyfriend is great and we know it’s beautiful and kind. But all we’re saying today, and all we’re trying to prove, is that you don’t need a killer girlfriend to have a killer mood.

Let’s chat about ten winning ways to celebrate your solo days:

1. Some like it hot. When you’re on your own you’re the master of the tank and the chances of a random flush scalding your skin is pretty slim. You’re less likely to run out of hot water so just twist that dial and soak into the zone.

2. One set of parents. Sure, you lose out on some inlaw naps but you could gain back holiday budgets, extra bedrooms, and Saturday evenings. Note to any inlaws reading this: This entry is about other inlaws, not you.

3. Take back the night. When you’re bumping around by yourself there’s no need to worry about making too much noise early or late. Tiptoes, quiet TV watching, and softly shutting doors take a backseat to cranking tunes, late-night phone calls, and your big galoomping feet.

4. Don’t be an ass. Single folks have no obligation to do joint Halloween costumes like Beauty and the Beast or the classic two-person donkey. Because don’t we all feel a little bit sorry for that couple dressed as Salt and Pepper shakers leaving the party at 10pm?

5. Flirt like you mean it. Chitchatting with sparkly objects of your desire is good fun. When you’re single ditch the guilt and holler at the busty waitress or chiseled cop. Not only is it exciting, but you’re growing your social skills and constantly meeting new people.

6. Getting to know you. You’re the only you you’ve got. Born and blasted into the world you’re a baby brain who flies through life forming crackly connections with everyone you meet. But getting to know yourself through experiences and deep thoughts adds important shapes and smears to your identity.

7. Bargain basement holidays. Tap your wallet and smile next time you walk by a towering Valentine’s Day display of heart-filled chocolates and pink teddy bears.

8. You can get with this or you can get with that. Are you hungry at 11pm? Get a burger! Are you bored on a Saturday night? Hit the scene! Do you want to free up your busy weekend or busy up your free one? Well the choice is yours! You can get with this or you can get with that. I think you’ll get with this for this is where it’s at.

9. Own your bed, own your life. When you’re single the entire bed is yours and you can test a variety of Starfish poses, Chun-Li leg kick positions, or even the extremely bold diagonal sleeping. (Rarely done.)

10. Embrace your disgusting habits. Clipping your toenails in bed, napping in piles of dirty clothes, or chomping greasy handfuls of potato chips over the sink is fine, fine, fine. The mirror won’t judge you and neither will anybody else.

People, let’s hear it today for being single. Exploring the world, finding adventures, and scoping big scenes are hallmarks of being cool with being you. Because look — falling in love is great and falling in love is nice but that doesn’t mean going alone can’t also be sugar and spice. Good days and bad days, setting suns and shining stars, it’s all about perspective and focusing on who you are. Because if all you need is love, and all love needs is you, then it’s great to relax and enjoy… just being you with you.

AWESOME!

Live in Boston? Come join The Awesome Movement at The Coop in Harvard Square this Sunday, May 22nd at 2pm! I’d love to meet you.

— Tweets —

RT @kegluskin My new favorite app is from @1000Awesome-great waking up to a new #awesome thing every day!!

RT @brettupton  @1000Awesome Have the new app on my iPod Touch and it rocks!

RT @k_wishart The app of awesome is well, #awesome! Yay for @1000Awesome and his awesomeness (so many awesomes in one tweet) :P

Photos from: here, here, here, here, and here

118 thoughts to “#240 Being single”

  1. Like one of my friends said while in the middle of some serious relationship drama- “being single is simpler.” I agree, except when you need someone to open the stinkin’ jar (anyone will do because you can then say that you loosened it up for them, but an SO in the house makes it easier). It also makes it simpler when you get invited to a wedding as “Kim and Guest.” But being single is in the long run, simpler. I have always been single (almost 23, one date in my life total and never been kissed) so it really sucks when I want someone there to cuddle with or for comfort and love and all, but it’s so nice without the drama and when I want to watch TV at night! Plus my shower isn’t big enough for me, let alone someone else!

    I agree with many of the above comments; this came at a perfect time. My best friend and essentially only friend to have never been kissed or on a date has now been on 2 dates with the same guy. I’m so happy for her, but it just makes me long all the more for a significant other.

    I also only have a twin bed, so the bed thing doesn’t affect me except that I’m not squished or falling off! But of course it’s nice to do the TV thing, and no in-laws thing :) I just love how your words/descriptions show the awesome in things and are just plain humorous!

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  3. 9. Own your bed, own your life.
    I like this one. You don’t have to worry about someone snoring either. I need a new matress though. Mine is getting saggy.

  6. If I didn’t have my fiance, I’d feel like a part of me was missing. He’s my better half and has helped me become such a better person in so many ways. I sleep better with him, despite occasional snoring and I’m just a lot happier. I didn’t date before him, and when we did start dating I was 20. So I guess I missed out on the single life in my 20’s (where I would probably enjoy it) But I don’t feel like I missed anything. But if someone is single or taken, I hope they are happy with whatever they are! There are total good and bad sides to each, but for me, I’m happy with who I’m with.

  10. Neil, you can read my mind, I swear. I really needed this today. Thank you! ^_^

  13. MAN this is truly AWESOME! It is also super relevant to my life right now because for some reason my parents are getting pushy about me finding a boyfriend. I have absolutely no problem with being single at the moment and I am enjoying it to the fullest!

  14. I’ve been feeling down about being single lately, and this really brightened my day. Awesome!!

  15. Love this post. All of it is completely true. Single life is the best life (for now). Especially since I am young, and just starting my life.

  17. don’t forget that being single means you don’t have tolerate his snoring!

  18. THAT’s MY FAVORITE AWESOME THING.
    Thank you for that. Everyone always thinks your poor because you’re ‘alone’.
    To me it’s a great thing, yay.

    Greetings from Germany :)

  19. Well, that just made me smile after I had a day of being-quite-moody-cause-I’m-still-single.

    Thanks!

  20. I’ve been dating me for about three months now and having a great time! I always get my jokes, appreciate my cooking and don’t feel the need to shave my legs every day. I love me! And I loved your post. A refreshing way to look at the relationship of being single.

  21. This post is just great. I’m building a house as a single person and the weather is not cooperating to complete it. I currently live with my parents and while I love them dearly, I have a hard time embracing my singleness. Once I move in to MY house that I’m paying for, I can’t wait to fully embrace everything on this post!

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  25. happy birthday and i gotta say, being single has never been so refreshing for me at my age, i dont think i can ever be in another serious relationship, sad but true and boy am i happy :)))))

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  27. Great post! I enjoy being single I just moved across the country for my dream job, get to listen to NPR at night before bed with no one complaining, and being able to be messy is also nice being single has some advantages. I am also one of those people who is happy doing things on her on such as going out to dinner, a cup of coffee, and to a movie. To the teenagers who are worried about being single that is the last thing you should be worried about worry about your grades, future, and being silly with your friends.

  29. honestly, try being single for a long time and tell me it feels okay? we’re social creatures, i’d rather have somebody else’s annoying habits to put up with than go at it alone.

  30. I have always been a responsible, independent woman who brought up my 2 daughters alone without any support. They both have a good education and careers and can stand on their own. After achieving all this I allowed myself to get involved again. The relationship lasted 10 yrs and we broke up a few months back. It has beeen painful and devastating and I am still feeling the rawness of all the pain. BUT a little small voice inside me keep telling me its okay….. remember you did this alone before…. and I am beginning to believe and allowing myself to believe that singleness can be another option to be explored and embrased. I am still not convinced that I believe myself yet and know I will have moments when I will fall into despair again but I also know that I do have other options and being faboulously single is one of them. This is not an easy road to walk but day by day, little baby steps, and believing and choosing a happier alternative to being a couple, is something to be embraced. Love to all out there who are hurting, it is very rarely all your fault and we must believe that things will get better if only we will allow ourselves to look at alternatives – like the possibility of happiness and contentment in singlehood.

    1. Thank you. I sooo needed to hear this:)
      Alone is better than together and lonely.
      When stepping up for children,it’s one thing; to learn to step up for self alone…a whole other divine/cell memory to bring forth and champion ahead with.
      Bless you all who shared experience,strength and hope.
      “Hey Jude”, by the Beatles; “The Land of Hopes and Dreams”, and “The Rising”, well most everything by The Beatles and Bruce Springsteen,Ifind comfort and joy.
      “I’m working on a dream.”
      Peace be with you.

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  33. I am newly single and i am so happy that now there is nobody to nag me when i do things of my choice, when i chat with the cool dude near me.No more shouting for a bad birthday gift choice and the best part is no need to cling to the phone all night till that thing heats up!!!! I AM PERFECTLY LONELY!!!!!& I AM LUVING IT !!! =)

  34. That was awesome, really made me smile and giggle Like a school girl. Lol it’s good to be reminded how good single life is sometimes. Although I would much rather cuddle up in bed with someone, rather than without out. Anyway that was nice. ;-)

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  38. Indeed these are awesome stuff on being single. However, it’s always a matter of choice. For married people, they also have a list of why marriage is awesome.

  44. I spent too much time being single then I foolishly got married. When my wife nags me she expects me to respond in a certain way but I usually tell her to shutup and roll my eyes. I have no idea how to be married and wish I was single. Sigh.

  45. It’s been idk like a little over 2 years since me and my ex split, it sucked at first, especially cuz she went after some other dude and is now with him… but now it doesn’t suck because now that I’m graduating college I have so much to look forward to without the restriction of being tied down by some fat wife and a bunch of sticky kids. I can pursue my dreams, explore the world with no stick-in-the-mud woman… this woman wanted 4 kids…. 4! I joked about getting a vasectomy without her knowing and she freaked. Now I just laugh when I think about her and her new boyfriend. Some dork looking guy. All I can do is look back and laugh then look forward and laugh again.

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