Lettuce is overrated.
Seriously, sandwich place — we don’t need a watery chompful of the pale green gratedness every time we bite into your squashed six-inch sub. Piling two handfuls on there like you’re setting up the stable with straw for the horse to give birth is too much. Hay hay, we’re saying we’ve really had enough of the flavorless green stuff. Cut off the crusts, scrap those nibbles, and let’s get to that bite with all the toppings in it:
1. On a hamburger! Grease glistens on that ketchupy smeared bite of pinkness, with little onions, pickle tasters, and tiny drips of mustard all coating the warm and mealy middle.
2. On a burrito! Helloooo, guacamole. We missed you, sour cream. In this dream scene the white and green combines with blackened chicken chunks, limey rice, and tangy salsa to give you a flavor explosion. Sometimes you get so excited you accidentally eat some of the tin foil by accident. These things happen.
3. On a sundae! There’s nothing sweeter than hitting the perfect ratio of melty vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, clumpy-cold chocolate sauce, and sprinkled nuts for texture. Welcome to the Taste Nucleus. Just close your eyes and enjoy hitting the sweet spot.
4. On homemade anything! Whether it’s the cookie bite with chocolate chips and walnuts or the lasagna chomp where you hit the extra mushrooms and mozzarella, you’re loving that bite with a little bit of whatever mom threw in the pot.
Yes, that bite with all the toppings in it is a magical place sitting in a towering throne that offers glimmering dining room riches you haven’t seen before and may not see again. To get there you must battle through bland bun nibbles, spoon past all-whipped cream bites, and chomp past plain rice or grated lettuce nightmares.
When you hit that bite with all the toppings in it make sure you take a minute to celebrate finally getting there.
You made it to Flavor Paradise.
AWESOME!
