Maybe you’re the San Diego Chargers fan who watches every game wearing a football helmet and a big foam thumb on your couch. Maybe you’re a diehard freak for the Boston Red Sox, Montreal Canadiens, or Manchester United. Or maybe you can’t stop watching Chinese Taipei’s majestic Cinderella climb into the Little League World Series.

Whatever your bag, one thing’s for sure: there’s nothing finer than watching your favorite team on national television. For so many reasons:

• Pressure. The audience for your team shoots up exponentially and your favorite players are broadcast into strange living rooms around the world. This is the big moment where everybody will judge you, so you better be ready to perform. Don’t let it get to your head.
• Better announcers. Okay, you may lose some of the local favorites who cheer for your club all the time. But you gain the veterans who’ve been broadcasting for years. I mean, how sweet is it when Joe Morgan chimes in with a stat on Sunday Night Baseball? It’s like gravelly, statistically-accurate music.
• Feel like you’re home. Hey, if you don’t live in your home town anymore the big show might be the only chance you get to see your team play. How great is it to watch The World Cup in big city bars around the world? That’s what I’m talking about.
• It means you’re at least somewhat decent. Because they probably wouldn’t broadcast you nationally if your team was the Baltimore Orioles or something.

When your local club makes the Monday game, the World Cup, or the Final Four, there’s just something special about sitting down at home and watching them compete on that big stage. So take the phone off the hook, make some popcorn, and settle in for a great night with a million friends.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

It ain’t easy, but when you finally succeed in peeling an orange into only one big, swirly peel, it can be one of the greatest fruit-eating experiences of your life. Here’s how to make the magic happen:

1. Pick a winner. No two oranges are created equal so it’s important to inspect your fruit before you pick it. Smart money says eye a juicy one that’s been ripe for a day or two and has plenty of loose, saggy peel hanging around, just begging for a big thumb-puncture right in the gut. If you have trouble, just remember this handy line: to get that peel off, pick one that’s soft. Word to your sister.

2. Roll it out (optional). Some people like to roll their orange around on the counter a bit, just to make doubly sure that the peel is primed and ready to go. This is the equivalent of sending the orange out to the bullpen to warm up. A side benefit is that your orange becomes extra juicy.

3. The thumb-puncture. This is the most critical move so let’s break it down. First, make sure you do actually use your thumb to perform the puncture, not the questionable four-fingers-in-a- scratch-the-blackboard-pose tactic. People who go the four-finger route are doomed to get all kinds of peel scraps flying everywhere. So just don’t do it. Now, when you have your game face ready, aim for one of the flabby peel-rolls right near the top or bottom of the orange. No matter what, do not stab right in the middle of the fruit, because that’s the thinnest part of the peel and you’ll walk away a humiliated, wet, pulpy mess.

4. Long, slow burn. Once you’re in, it’s time to slowly, majestically carve out a big peel-strip around and around and around the orange. Be careful not to create any peel islands, those little chunks of peel just hanging out in the middle of a freshly peeled area. Also, don’t peel too thick a strip (inaccurate and unpredictable) and don’t peel too thin a strip (could snap off). Just relax and it will come with practice. If you seem to be losing your momentum or getting stressed out, just put the orange down, shake your hands out, take some deep breaths, and regroup.

5. Show and tell. Did you nail it? Did you finish it off good? If so, congratulations, you’re now holding a freshly shorn orange in one hand and a limp n’ long, snake-like strip of peel in the other. You have to finish by showing this to at least one person and saying “Hey, check it out!” Maybe hang it right in their face if they don’t seem impressed at first. They should come around and at least flash you a terse thumbs up or a sarcastic eyebrow-raise.

Yes, peeling an orange in one shot is a terrific accomplishment. It’s one of the best fruit-openings out there, easily trumping the big watermelon split, the pineapple top lop, the pomegranate pry, the coconut crack, or the apple bite.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

Bakery air is that steaming hot front of thick, buttery fumes waiting for you just inside the door of a bakery. And girl, I’m just going to tell you straight up. That is some fine air.

Bakery air immediately fills you up with the sickly sweet smell of cooking cupcakes, crisping croissants, and the distinct aroma of globby breakfast paste turning into a delicious tray of hot oatmeal cookies.

It’s a powerful and intoxicating smell that rivals some of the best smells out there: late night summer barbecue, new car smell, gasoline, fresh baby, or even, dare I say it, campfire in the woods. Yes, I went there.

Now, is it just me, or do you ever feel sorry for the people working in the bakery? You know, because they might just get used to the smell and stop enjoying those hot bakery whiffs all the time? I really hope it’s not like that. I really hope working in a bakery never turns into a regular job full of early mornings, oven-scorched eyebrows, varicose veins, and floury underwear. No, bakery air is just too good for that. It can’t become another day at the office, it just can’t. So let’s just make sure we all enjoy it.

Catch some of those sugary vapors next time you’re running past a Cinnabon at the train station. Suck back a noseful of hot fumes next time you walk by an open bakery door on Saturday morning. And just make sure that when you stop to smell the roses, you stop to smell the croissants and date squares, too.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

There’s really nothing like pulling up in the driveway and shutting off the engine just as that final cymbal crashes or that wailing guitar solo slowly fades into perfect silence. If you time it just right, you’ll miss the start of the commercials, and you’ll be dutifully rewarded with the song replaying itself in your head all day.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

Maybe it’s Mother’s Day at 7:30am and your kids wake you up with a plate of cold toast, runny eggs, and a short glass of lukewarm OJ. Sure, it may not be the best-tasting meal in the world, and yeah, you might fill your sheets with crumbs, but don’t tell me getting served breakfast isn’t the greatest.

I mean, there you were just sleeping there. And someone else said “Let’s go downstairs and cook up our best possible meal, toss it on a tray, and bring it upstairs and serve it to you.” Yes, serve it to you! Cook it up and set it up and serve it to you. I have to say you’re pretty lucky if this happens to you.

Plus, breakfast in bed can also help accomplish the exotic get up and eat up and get back down move, a brilliant Saturday or Sunday feat that involves filling your belly with breakfast and then immediately crashing back into a post fiesta siesta. Yes, it’s a great feeling to go back to bed with that full stomach. And who knows? Maybe there’s a lunch in bed just waiting for you on the other side of those sleepy dreams. But really, it’s a good question — has anyone ever actually scored lunch in bed? If so, I’m pretty sure they win the World’s Greatest Day Ever contest.

Now, the Trump Card for turning a good breakfast in bed into a great one is when it includes one or more of the following:

• One of those tiny, miniature glass bottles of ketchup or jam
• A homemade greeting card wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day or Happy Birthday
• A breakfast dessert of any kind
• Butter painstakingly carved into a perfect sphere
• Cute, restaurant-style folded up napkins

Because let’s be honest, people. We sure do love eating. We sure do love sleeping. And breakfast in bed is the closest we get to combining both at the same time. And around here, you know what we think of that.

Say it with me now.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

On a warm, sunny day, driving in a car with the window open and your hair whipping around everywhere, what’s better than letting your hand slip safely out that window and letting it wildly roller-coaster against the wind?

You know how it is: that speeding car creates a strong and forceful wind pocket that’s fun to ride, and as you let it slip and slide across your fingers, you can kind of close your eyes and pretend you’re just flying along.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

It was like a mirage.

There I was, a few years ago, sitting in the middle seat of a plane set for take off, and there sat an empty aisle seat to my right. I was belted in and cramped and it just sat there vacant, while overhead bins were slamming shut, flight attendents were bringing out blankets, and people started thumbing mindlessly through inflight magazine articles about exotic hotel lobbies.

The plane looked full, the plane looked settled, so I quickly made my stealth, ninja-like swap into the empty seat like a champion. I moved and sat there with a big smile, lots of elbow room, and my legs comfortably extended into the aisle. Truly, it was heaven.

Then suddenly a big guy in a tight business suit lumbered down the aisle just heaving, sweat dripping down his forehead, tongue wagging out his mouth like a dog, eying my row from a distance. I knew the jig was up, so I moved back to the middle seat as he settled in. Turns out he slept through his alarm and had to race to the airport. Nope, no time for a shower, just a full day’s worth of grease on his glistening neck. I voluntarily sacrificed the arm rest when his forehead began dripping on me, and then tried to enter a cocoon-like state of flying hibernation, covering myself in a blanket, crossing my arms and legs, and trying to go to sleep.

And that’s sort of how most plane rides go for me.

But every so often, every once in a while, I’ll end up on a pretty empty plane and score an entire row to myself. And that’s when the perks start piling up. You know how it is:

• Pee Freely. Yup, get up and go whenever you like, because you won’t need to awkwardly limbo past anyone’s drink tray. Bonus: No awkward crotch-in-the-face moments.
• Window and aisle. It’s great looking out the window, but unfortunately the person sitting closest to the window gets all window-shade rights. They may close the window completely or block the view when you want a peek. When you get your own row though, you get both.
• Rest your arms. All arms rests become yours for the taking. Left arm, right arm, it doesn’t matter. There’s no need to worry about getting the bump-off.
• Go sideways. This isn’t always easy, but you might be able to pull off the ‘row nap’, where you flip up all the armrests up and turn three seats into a bed. Forget those pricey lay-down seats in first class — this here’s the econo-bed and it works just as well.

Yes, having a whole row by yourself on the plane is a pretty sweet deal. You can almost pretend that you’re magnificently rich and you paid for the other seats just to buy yourself some breathing room. Because seriously, flying ain’t always a lot of fun, and so that extra elbow room can make the difference between three hours of misery and three hours of bliss. And that’s something worth celebrating.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

Anyone else hate those big toilet paper wheels in the public restroom? You know the ones. They’re big, they’re plastic, and they hold massive rolls of thin, transluscent one-ply toilet paper. And they’re pretty stingy with their papery plunder, too. Yes, you have to stick your hand up there and fish around a bit to find a loose end, and then give it an even, gentle tug just so to prevent it from ripping into bits.

And hey, how about those light, hospital boxes of one-ply Kleenex? Same deal, right? Blow your nose into that stuff and you’ll find your hands turn into a slippery, sticky mess. You might even have a few tiny bits of Kleenex lingering around your nose or upper lip afterwards, too. It’s not pretty.

So that’s why it’s great when you discover some surprise, two-ply toilet paper in a public restroom or some surprise two-ply Kleenex on the counter at the doctor’s office. Yes, when it’s two-ply, you’re flying high, baby, because it comes out easy, goes down smooth, and just feels like home.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

Ever had a birthday party in the office?

If you have, you know that it’s usually celebrated with a streamer-covered cubicle, a signed birthday card, and a mid-afternoon birthday cake. And while everyone says they don’t want that cake, let’s be honest: after you start to include it in your diet two to three times a week, you can’t stop jonesing for that two o’clock sugar rush.

Of course, after the parties happen the partially-eaten leftovers find their way to the office kitchen. Now, if you want to get in on the game, you’ll need to follow these Top 4 Tips For Scoring Leftover Office Cake:

1. Keep extra plastic forks and paper plates at your desks. Because how many times do you happen upon a partially-devoured cake, only to notice that there’s nothing to eat it with? Put up your icing smeared hand if you’ve ever just dug into that cake anyway. Yeah, I’m talking about slicing the cake with a coffee stirrer, using a piece of paper from the printer as your plate, and just tossing the cake back like a crumbly Jello shooter. It’s not pretty and it’s sort of crossing the line between Friendly Coworker and Office Raccoon. I say don’t be the raccoon. Keep the cutlery at your desk.

2. Do your cubicle rounds. On your way into work in the morning, make sure you do your cubicle rounds. You know, just checking out if anyone’s cubicle is all decorated for their birthday. If you spot one, it’s a good omen of cake to come.

3. Buddy up. When they find cake, they tell you. When you find cake, you tell them. There’s always enough to go around, so why not double your odds of scoring an icing flower? You know you have a great Cake Buddy when you find a piece of cake covered by a napkin just sitting at your desk when you get back from a meeting. Now that’s service. Make sure to thank them with a corner piece next time.

4. Know the peak times. Office birthday parties nearly always happen in the afternoon because this allows someone to hastily run out and grab a cake at lunch. So make sure you’re ready and aware of those mid-afternoon ‘fake meetings’ that turn into office birthday parties. Also, it doesn’t hurt to swing by the kitchen at 2:30 to see what’s cooking, if you catch my drift.

Now these are all great methods for how to score leftover cake from the office kitchen, but what happens if you’re invited to the actual office birthday party itself? Well, don’t you worry, we’ve got you covered with one big rule: If you’re at the party, don’t be the Table Setter, Servant, or Salesman. You must make a strong effort to avoid these three dreaded office party tasks because they will delay your cake eating:

1. The Table-Setter: the person who is assigned the role of finding plastic forks, paper plates, or drink cups at the last minute. It’s just no fun leaving the party to run around and beg for Styrofoam. Best to show up a bit late or mingle undetected in the back.
2. The Servant: the person who ends up closest to the cake… just in time to cut it for everyone! Yeah, now you’re stuck trying to split up those much-too-thin paper plates, put a fork on each one, and slice that cake right on up. It’s a lot of pressure being the Servant, because everybody is always crowding around you and yelling things like “No, no, no, half that size!” And it can all happen so fast that you don’t even realize you’re The Servant until you find yourself in the bathroom twenty minutes later awkwardly washing the cake knife with cold water and paper towels.
3. The Salesman: the person who takes the cut pieces of cake and walks around the room selling them to everybody. If you get the job, your best move is simply asking “Who doesn’t have a piece yet?” and then waving the cake in people’s face until they take it off your hands.

So that’s it, ladies and gentlemen. Now you’ve got it down. Bring on the sugar comas, because you’re entering a world of all cake all the time.

And it will be glorious.

AWESOME!

Photos form: here, here, here, and here

When you hear scissors cutting through a sheet of construction paper, you just know there’s some fun about to happen. The table is probably covered in glue sticks, glitter, pipe cleaners, and googly eyes, and everything is set for a day full of crafts with the camp counselor.

In some ways, this is essentially the kid equivalent of spreading tools out across the basement workbench before building a shelf, or taping windows and opening paint cans to get ready to coat the kitchen walls in a new shade.

Yes, the sound of scissors cutting construction paper is the sound of important work about to happen. It’s the sound of creativity bubbling. It’s the sound of ideas blossoming. And it’s the sound of some decent fun on a rainy afternoon.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here