#534 Catching food in your mouth

Toss it mean and catch it clean.

Drop that jaw, tilt that head, and let’s get down to business:

• Level 1: Pop Practice. It’s important to start small with popcorn. There are no penalties for misses here, since the corn is light and doesn’t collect much dust if it hits the ground. This is a baby step and it will take time to master, but it’s an important rite of passage before hitting the next levels. (Note: In some circles, this level also covers marshmallows, Cheerios, and Corn Pops.) 5 points.

• Level 2: The Grape Beyond. Yup, next step is big ol’ grapes. Usually someone on the other end of the movie couch is munching on the vine in their own little bowl. If you’re feeling a bit hungry, simply drop your mouth and tap the couch cushion while saying ‘Uhn! Uhnnnnn!’ to get their attention. Soon a cold, hard grape should be flying fast at you. If the toss is good you should catch it perfectly. Other fruits like raspberries and strawberries fit here as well. 10 points.

• Level 3: Dog On A Bone. This extremely advanced move involves catching something larger than your actual mouth. An apple, peeled orange, or corn on a cob are good targets. You need to time the molar chomp perfectly and be prepared for embarrassing T-shirt stains and a black eye. 25 points.

Yes, when you catch food in your mouth you’re suddenly sitting high on top of the snack-eating universe. You’ve just combined equal parts laziness and athletic ability in a daring couch potato feat the likes of which this family room has never seen before. So when you nail it smoothly you know what to do.

Chomp it loud.

Chew it proud.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

1,494 thoughts to “#534 Catching food in your mouth”

  1. Awesome is discovering a new blog and on your very first visit to the blog there is a giveaway to enter. I just learned of your blog from O magazine and look forward to reading more.

  2. Swapping music with a friend

    At $1.29 a song, it SOUNDS cheap, but in reality, music is expensive. That $1.29 really adds up if your library consists of 500+ songs (that’s $645!). Being a college student, I don’t have the money to throw around like that, but I really, truly do love music… and that’s where the friends come in! Turn some of yourTunes into theirTunes and vice versa! It’s as simple as picking through the 693 songs they have, making your own playlist on their computer and dragging it onto the USB drive, and VOILA!

  3. Laughing at yourself*

    It’s a difficult thing to do, but those moments in which you are able to laugh at yourself can be deemed true achievements. Whether it be slipping on a puddle of water in the middle of the dining hall, stumbling over your own two feet on a busy sidewalk, running dead into the wall that’s stood in the same spot for ages or hooking your backpack in a revolving door leading into the library, it’s better to laugh at your incredibly obvious mistake than wallow in self-misery. I guarantee it not only takes the edge off the situation, but helps people place it out of site and out of mind. And hey, things are only as bad as you make them out to be.

  4. catching food in your mouth.

    Imagine it: you’re watching a movie in a basement, or sitting outside on the porch or the backyard. You and your friends are munching away on handfuls of projectile-size snacks. Goldfish, popcorn, grapes, whatever. After several failed attempts and taking snack shrapnel to the face, or almost falling over the porch rail in an effort to catch a renegade piece of popcorn… your friend makes the pitch… everything seems like slow motion as you line up and… VICTORY! You are the king of AWESOME!

    1. I am in the process of teaching my daughter how to catch food in her mouth….. yeah we’re not learning how to tie shoes…..we’re learning mouth/eye coordination!

      I loved doing this with my friends. Mostly with popcorn or candy. its like that one episode of the Office when Pam, Ryan and Michael are throwing Cheeto balls and catching them in their mouths and they do it ALL DAY.
      Awesome.

      1. You know what? It’s all about priorities. Shoes later, candy-in-mouth now. Be sure to run the Careful Not to Choke warning by her, though.

    2. Also, I know some people will find this TOTALLY DISGUSTING, but I’m throwing it out there anyway.

      In high school, we could leave for lunch, so my friends and I would usually go grab some fast food, scarf it down, and come back to school with drink cups full of ice water (hello, free beverage!). If we got back early, we’d stand outside waiting for the bell to ring and would sometimes … here it comes … try to distance-spit ice into someone else’s mouth. I know, I know. Sick, right? But it was totally fun. And I didn’t die from it. So … awesome!

  5. Changing out of work clothes on Friday afternoon

    You get home from the office, tired from the long week and psyched for the weekend. You kick off the high heels or loosen that tie, and you feel it. The weekend is starting. Maybe you’re jumping into pajamas, all ready for a Friday night movie marathon, possibly passing out on the couch surrounded by popcorn. Possibly you’re sliding into your favorite jeans and sparkly top, ready to hit the dance floor at your favorite club. You might be slipping on jeans and a tshirt, ready for burgers and fries at the local diner. No matter what, getting out of that button down or slipping off those pantyhose for at least two days?

    AWESOME

  6. Something that I always find is AWESOME is…

    Being naturally good at something without much previous practice. It’s so much better when it’s a surprise to you. It always feels good to have new found talent in an unknown skill!

  7. When you successfully tear a paper towel off the roll with one hand…without getting the stream of towels behind it!

  8. Reminiscing

    There’s nothing like reminiscing. No feeling in the world could beat revisiting your past and how each time you dive back into your memories, you remember something new that has been left out from all other moments of reminiscing.

    Sometimes, you reminisce when you’re alone. You hear an old song that you haven’t heard in a while, a pop song from the 1990’s that everyone used to love and have now come to forget, and then you think of that moment when you were screaming out those cheesy lyrics with the car window wound down with your best friends. You think back of a light, happier time when simple things make you happy.

    Sometimes, you reminisce with other people. People from your past that you bump into in the street and the first thing they say is “Hey man, remember the times when we used to….?” and every time they say something they remember so clearly, they bring a new fresh perspective on a memory that has been stored in the back of your mind. You share a funny moment between the two of you, and hell that joke never seems to grow old. It still makes you cry with laughter till you can’t finish the story, but the both of you know the exact moment you’re both thinking of.

    What’s the best part of reminiscing? There is no ened to it. You keep on finding new moments to think back on, new people to share your reminiscing with, because sharing a bit of your past makes you who you are now. every little bit of your past brought you to this moment, where you think back and smile thinking “you know what? i did alright in life.”

    1. I experienced this for the first time last summer at the ripe old age of 23. I know, I know! How could I have waited so long?! Truly, I don’t know. The four year old down the street has been to a whole season’s worth, and there I was going for the first time.

      It was so awesome! St. Louis Cardinals vs. Minnesota Twins. Yeah, it was mid-July and hotter than hell. Sure, my thighs were stuck to the hard plastic seats. Ok, I spent like twenty dollars to experience stadium food. Yes, the Cardinals lost on their own turf.

      But ya know what? It was still so great.

      1. Haven’t been to a prof. baseball game yet, I’m holding out for my first prof. football game. Yeah, you’d think I would have gone to either one by now.
        I’ve seen the local baseball team a few times, but they are far from professional. (no offense guys!)

        1. Haha! I love the “no offense” comment … like, juuuust incase the local baseball team was reading this blog, stumbled upon your comment, recognized you as Bekah From Their Town, figured out you were talking about them and would come after you in the night. :D

  9. Reading an old birthday card you saved from your best friend

    Whether it has a witty message or something mildly inappropriate, the note they write for you gives you a warm feeling inside that makes you want to read it over and over again. You slip it away in the miscellaneous drawer and get it when you need a smile. Or even better is when you’re looking for something else and rifling through old papers and find that letter that you haven’t opened in years only to remember how awesome your best friend truly is!

    1. Oh I LOVE finding old cards! Even if they’re just from last year, what a smile they can bring. The card’s message is good, but what’s written is even better. I ALWAYS make sure to include a sincere and personal note when I send a store-bought card.

      I just laughed out loud at the “mildly inappropriate” comment: got some of those, too!

  10. When a stranger helps you out.

    The other day, I was attempting a #639 and someone from my building, who was on her way to her car, noticed my plight. Unasked, she swooped in like a superhero, snagging that last bag and closing my trunk for me. Grateful, I thanked her profusely as she followed me to my apartment. She just smiled, said, “No prob!” and went on her way. Awesome!

  11. Finding a website that brightens your day so much that you automatically bookmark it.

    :-D

  12. Googling an old friend that you’ve Googled (or looked up on Facebook or Myspace) before and finally finding them!!

  13. The Countdown To Big Day when something you’ve been waiting for and it finally getting here! (Like a wedding, a birth, opening of Baseball Season)

  14. Finding out which celebrities share your birthday.

    Party on, Billy Joel and Candice Bergen. If we’re ever together, we should have a joint celebration! Awesome! :)

      1. Don’t despair! You also have Tim Allen on your side. Tim the Tool Man Taylor. He will not let you down the way the Olsen twins undoubtedly have.

            1. I had no idea this site exsisted where I could see who shared my b-day. that is awesome!
              Hubby shares his with a bunch of celebs… heidi klum, marily monroe, and my all time favorite actor….morgan freeman!!!

  15. Peeling After a Really Bad Sunburn:

    Everyone knows it sucks to get a horrible sunburn. And recently I had one for the books, it hurt, it looked awful, and I got comments from more strangers than I care to count. Yeah, it’s definately not good for your skin, but baby, when that sunburn starts to peel.. it’s like your body wants to keep you entertained. It starts off slow and little by little you replenish your beautiful skin to its originial state. But while in the process you just can’t help but spend boring moments slowly peeling the skin away. Yes boys and girls, peeling after a horrible sunburn is just one more way your body is awesome.

  16. License plates that have hidden messages.

    -They are fun to decipher
    -The satisfaction you feel once discovering what they say
    -Having contests with passengers in the car to figure them out.

    “2kol4skl”
    “bdrflyes”
    “buzyB01”
    “thnkspa”

    awesome.

    1. I also like the ones that accidentally say something (that are not personalized plates):

      OMG 587
      L0L 5T6
      TNT 89R

      They’re not deep, they’re not intentional, but I read them anyway. And I think they’re awesome. :D

  17. Seeing a license plate from far, far away.

    WHOA! Alaska! You drove that thing from Alaska?! Sweet!

  18. that feeling after you finish a really long run. you’re tired, but you feel sooo good in a few minutes.

  19. when you pick up your phone and you get a text a second later and you feel all ninja and awesome.

  20. A glaze-your-own-pottery place.

    This is awesome because, unlike art class where you MIGHT end up with a useable piece of pottery, this place provides you with structurally sound and visually appealing pieces of unpainted pottery. Choose a mug, a plate, a set of salt & pepper shakers, or a figurine. Choose your seat, pick your colors, and glaze, glaze, glaze! Come back in a few days after it’s been fired and claim your painted pottery. I won’t lie and say it always turns out how you wanted it to, but hey! It’s usable and YOU painted it. Awesome!

  21. The moment when you’re suddenly extremely happy.

    No one can deny that this moment isn’t awesome.
    It’s the perfect moment.

    Your smile widens, your laughter is louder, and it’s like someone just cut open your brain and poured a packet of Pop Rocks (which are also awesome) into your brain — causing it to implode with happiness.

    Everyone around you can feel it too. They see your smile and hear your laughter, and they become happy too; of course, it’s nothing compared to what you’re feeling, but why should that matter? You’ve just started a chain reaction of total happiness, you’ve tipped the first domino in an intricate pattern of total bliss.

    Everyone’s smiling, everyone’s laughing, everyone’s happy, and that is 100%

    AWESOME!

  22. Dandelions

    It’s the best feeling ever when you walk by a patch of grass with a perfect dandelion growing there, waiting to be picked. You get to pick it, make a wish, and then watch all the little fuzzies go floating away when you blow on them.

    AWESOME.

    1. My sister and I would get in trouble for blowing on those fluffy dandelions at home because the more we blew, the more seeds were planted to fill our yard with nature’s beautiful yellow weed. I had to have that fun at the park or school playground. :)

      1. Me too, Laura!

        Also, I have bad flashbacks about dandelions, because my Dad used to use uprooting them by hand as a punishment. Did you stay out past curfew? Guess what you’re doing first thing tomorrow in the hot, blazing sun? Here’s your bushel basket and weeding tool. Don’t come back until the basket is full.

        1. My brothers use to pick them and rub them all the way up my arm. Always left a nice yellow streak.

  23. It’s so awesome that you have so many entries for your new book! Who would have thought when you started up your blog! As a writer myself, I just think it’s so awesome…how far you’ve come. You’re an inspiration and that’s awesome in itself.

  24. Just as you are picking up the phone to call someone you haven’t talked to in a long time, the phone rings and it is THAT person calling you.

    Awesome!

  25. The way your hair feels after you swim at the beach.

    You spend all day at the beach, taking in all of the sunshine. When the sun starts to go down, you and your crew decide to go back to the real world. You gather everything together, rinse off and leave. While riding home, you realize that your hair is still sticking together and smells slightly of salt. It ends up being a small, insignificant reminder of a great day.
    AWESOME.

  26. Eating cold pizza.

    Now, this is a debatable topic. I know people who are willing to fight to the death about whether eating the pizza cold and straight up or reheating it is best. I myself can go either way, and am a leftover-pizza-pacifist, willing to retain friendships in lieu of winning the debate.

    But really, eating a cold slice right out of the fridge (bonus points if it’s for breakfast, #683 style) is a delicious and satisfying experience. Awesome.

    1. The only pizza I eat cold is the one my Dad makes. True comfort food. And awesome, of course.

  27. Dipping your french fries in your frosty/shake. It is the perfect combination of salty grease and sweet treat. If you haven’t tried it, you definitely should!

    1. I’m pretty sure that Wendy’s exists solely for this purpose. Maybe not, but … probably. ;D

  28. When your favorite summer time location opens for the season. Where I am from in Iowa the Dairy Queen closes for winter (it isn’t one of those nice brazier indoor eating ones..we keep it old school), whenever it opens for the “Season” you know that everything is right in the world once again. The sun will come out..and summer will be here before you know it!

    1. Jess, my dad always tells me stories about how lucky my sister and I are that our hometown’s DQ is now open year-round. See, for me, a seasonal DQ just seems wrong! But back in his day, that’s exactly what it was: a summer-time experience. While our Dairy Queen is a full-fledged, year-round operation, I understand what you mean. There is this place in the small river town 1.5 hours away called the Jolly Cone. It, too, is a seasonal treat. Get it while it’s good!! :D

      1. Thankfully I never had to experience the closing of DQ either. Its always open in my hometown…there’s that and a Tastee Freeze that’s open all year round.

  29. The relief you feel when that popcorn kernel that you’ve been digging at for hours and hours (sometimes even days) that’s been stuck between your teeth finally comes loose…and you eat it anyway.

  30. Running an errand for the teacher.

    Who didn’t love being chosen to take a note to the office, fetch a teacher from another classroom, or go grab the copies from the copy room? Awesome!

  31. When someone hides a note for you.

    I love finding a card or note, tucked away in a suitcase when I’ve gone on a long trip or a birthday card planted under the driver’s side floor mat, just waiting to be discovered when the time is right. Awesome :)

    1. No one’s done this for me yet, but I do it for hubby all the time. Throw a cute note in his lunch box or tape something to his steering wheel. I’d like to think it gives him a nice pick up in the morning.

  32. When you finally get to eat that food you’ve been craving!

    No matter what it is, no matter when it is, it tastes like the best meal you’ve ever had.

    Awesome!

  33. When someone waves at you until you’re out of sight.

    Way back when I was a freshman and came home to visit for the first time since flying the coop, my parents barely let me leave to go back to school. They stood in the driveway, waving at me until my car rounded the corner of our street, leaving only my younger sister and some empty-nest-syndrome to keep them company.

    Now it’s become a tradition. I’ve been away from home for six years, living four hours away. Every time I come home, they stand out in the driveway and we all wave as I drive away. Awesome!

  34. When your fishing and you get a good fish! You get a fun battle on your hands, and if it’s full of energy and fight, you tire it out. Finally, you get to net it and hold it up for the camera! AWESOME!!

  35. Writing / passing notes in school.

    Writing a note on the sly, saving it up until just that right moment: you have options, here. If the note’s intended recipient is in your current class, evaluate the situation. Are they close enough to have the note passed directly to them? Do you need to find a reliable go-between? Is your teacher on the ball or off in her own world in the back of the room? If you’ve got an eagle-eyed teacher or several rows between you and the note-recipient, it’s best to wait it out. You can’t risk having that note read. You’re already flirting with disaster by writing it in class. No, at this point, you’d better wait until after class, in the freedom of the hallway. Pass that note, hope they won’t get caught reading it, and wait the rest of the day in anticipation for a reply. It’s like a primal and basic post office system. So awesome!

    1. I still have most of the notes I passed around with friends. To go back and look at them is so hilarious!!

      1. I still have some, too, and I agree! I love reading back over those notes. They have the same quality as reading an old diary/journal. :)

        1. We use to pass around games to do like hangman or tic-tac-toe. Great fun…I still have those too. We would put together a hangman that reveals what we were going to say in the note.

          1. Oh that sounds like fun!

            Did you ever play MASH? (Not to be confused with M*A*S*H*, the ever-popular story of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital during the Korean War … hehe).

            I have a few saved MASH games … you know, those that totally turned out in your favor, predicting your crush as your future husband while you were living in a mansion, etc. Love it! :D

  36. Reaching the ripe ol’ age of 20, 30, 40, 50…or whatever, and knowing you don’t NEED a man or a woman in your life to make you happy.

    Breakups can be hard, but once the crying and despair are over, once the anger and revenge tactics have fizzled, once you’ve picked yourself up, brushed yourself off, and had a makeover/gone to the gym consecutively for 3 months/embraced life again….

    THAT is truly awesome!

  37. Being the girl at the gym that gets checked out because you are actually sweating like crazy and are NOT wearing any makeup.

    That is awesome!

  38. Eating the leftover cake batter right from the bowl.

    While the finished cake may be delicious, there’s nothing better than the leftover batter. Getting it out of the bowl with a spatula, spoon, or just fingers, but making sure to get every last bit.
    AWESOME!

  39. Oh gosh, when you need Chapstick really badly and finally get the opportunity to slather a big swoop of it on. There is no greater feeling your lips could be blessed with than a well-needed dose of Chapstick.

    1. A well-timed appearance of some chapstick is one of the greatest joys in life. Fo’ sho’.

    2. Totally agree. Also works for lotion. You know, you’re out all day, running errands, maybe stopping to use a public restroom with the awful, moisture-sucking soap. Then you finally walk by a Bath & Body Works and run in for a free squirt that saves your itchy, dry hands.

      AWESOME!

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