#239 That bite with all the toppings in it

Lettuce is overrated.

Seriously, sandwich place — we don’t need a watery chompful of the pale green gratedness every time we bite into your squashed six-inch sub. Piling two handfuls on there like you’re setting up the stable with straw for the horse to give birth is too much. Hay hay, we’re saying we’ve really had enough of the flavorless green stuff. Cut off the crusts, scrap those nibbles, and let’s get to that bite with all the toppings in it:

1. On a hamburger! Grease glistens on that ketchupy smeared bite of pinkness, with little onions, pickle tasters, and tiny drips of mustard all coating the warm and mealy middle.

2. On a burrito! Helloooo, guacamole. We missed you, sour cream. In this dream scene the white and green combines with blackened chicken chunks, limey rice, and tangy salsa to give you a flavor explosion. Sometimes you get so excited you accidentally eat some of the tin foil by accident. These things happen.

3. On a sundae! There’s nothing sweeter than hitting the perfect ratio of melty vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, clumpy-cold chocolate sauce, and sprinkled nuts for texture. Welcome to the Taste Nucleus. Just close your eyes and enjoy hitting the sweet spot.

4. On homemade anything! Whether it’s the cookie bite with chocolate chips and walnuts or the lasagna chomp where you hit the extra mushrooms and mozzarella, you’re loving that bite with a little bit of whatever mom threw in the pot.

Yes, that bite with all the toppings in it is a magical place sitting in a towering throne that offers glimmering dining room riches you haven’t seen before and may not see again. To get there you must battle through bland bun nibbles, spoon past all-whipped cream bites, and chomp past plain rice or grated lettuce nightmares.

When you hit that bite with all the toppings in it make sure you take a minute to celebrate finally getting there.

You made it to Flavor Paradise.


— Email message —

“Hi Neil, We just got the book of even more awesome last night and we were all reading it cause we love it. Today we were inspired to write down a few things that we think are awesome. Some of our favorites are pulling your hair up into a messy bun and changing into comfy clothes after a long day, when you feel like you’re the only person in the entire world that knows what you’re doing at that moment and learning how to land a front flip.” – Carolyn (14), Sarah (10) and Robbie (7)

Photos from: here, here, and here

67 thoughts on “#239 That bite with all the toppings in it

  1. I am the first one and it’s only 11 here. And yes I am a nerd (not even remotely dorky)

  2. This probably could fall under the burrito category, but you just can’t forget- NACHOS. Drippy creamy cheese, thick warm beans, sour cream, guacamole, salsa… MMMMMMM!

  3. Carolyn, Sarah and Robbie…add your awesome smiles, bare feet and trampoline fun in the sun!
    Three cheers, for you 3! And the most Awesomest bite of a DQ Jack and Jill Sundae!

    1. I just figured out what BTW, means as I was just about to write it out,LOL!
      BTW, for those of you who don’t know, a “Jack and Jill” sundae is the perfect ratio of ice cream, (any kind you like), hot fudge, melted marshmallow, real whipped cream, little bits of peanuts and a cherry on top. *It’s Delicious Awesomeness!*

  4. My family deliberately create mouthfuls like this at the end of all sorts of meals, and call it the final forkful. We’ll save a little bit of each element of the meal, and then try to get them all onto the fork & into the mouth together for that final flavour sensation. Particularly tricky for things like Christmas dinner, where you need to get the roast turkey,stuffing, chipolata wrapped in bacon, roast potato, roast parsnip, carrot, brussel sprout, cranberry sauce and gravy on there, but it is SO worthwhile!

    And now my tummy’s rumbling!

  5. Whenever I make anything at home, I always put an extra pile of toppings on the side of the plate. That way I can always scoop some more on to make every bite a toppings bite :)

    Btw: Carolyn, Sarah and Robbie “when you feel like you’re the only person in the entire world that knows what you’re doing at that moment” I used to love that thought as a kid! That no one knows what you know at that moment! Forgot all about it until I read your email :) awesome list!

  6. That one bite of cheesey gooey perfection and cold blessing of sour cream on top. <333

  7. You just reminded me of some sneaky trips to McDonalds with Mom. We’d always claim that the people that made the food thought we were rabbits by how much lettuce they piled on.
    I like to look at my food. I do this because I’m looking for the perfect bite. That first bite that I take has to have everything on/in it.

  8. It’s almost impossible to do this with gumbo, since gumbo can contain anything that “walks, crawls, swims, or slithers” so when this does happen, it’s petty freaking awesome. It’s like a taste of the bayou with a hint of the gulf and the Mississippi. Love it. :)

  9. Howdy everyone – I was out of town last week so didn’t get to join in any of last week’s fun.. I’ll go back and try to catch up on all of that soon.

    However, I did want to mention that I finally got to try my first Nutella-mallow, and it was everything I dreamed of and more. I will never go back to standard s’mores again. And after the first few, I ditched the graham cracker entirely, and just went straight Marshmallow/Nutella until I was close to making myself sick.. SO GOOD!!

    That is all.

    1. AWESOME! I knew I’d have a convert! Yeah those graham crackers just muck up the works. Total waste of time.
      On another note, I just scored a free plane ticket to the west coast, so I will not only get to go camping in 4 days and eat oodles of nutellows (yeah I’m still trying to get that one to stick), but I will also get to go to Canada for the very first time (cuz I don’t count the ferry from WA to AK as going to Canada, although I’ve technically been in Canadian waters)!!! So stoked!

      1. Congratulations, eh? Hope you enjoy your time in the Great White North! (Nice score of plane ticket / camping trip!).

          1. Ooo, try “KitKat Dark” too! (or regular KitKat, if dark chocolate is not your fav.)

              1. Try Coffee Crisp! This is my favorite Canadian chocolate bar.. mostly because of an old commercial that was on with two elderly women with accents, that went a little something like this:

                Woman 1: “How do you like your coffee?”
                Woman 2: “Crisp”
                W1: “You like your coffee CRISP???”
                W2 (holding up the candy bar): “I like my Coffee Crisp!”
                W1: “Ohhh… you don’t know from jokes..”
                W2: “Well you’re no Jane Rivers”..

                It was great.. my wife and I do this routine a lot together, even though she’s never even seen the commercial, and plays her role entirely from memories of me acting out the commercial.. actually, she’s just usually telling me that I “don’t know from jokes”.. :)

                Oh.. and don’t forget to go back to the old thread about chip flavors.. I recommend Sour Cream and Bacon!

                1. I was in the Toronto airport 2 weeks ago and I searched everynews stand, gift shop, snack bar and Tim Horton’s for catchup chips. None to be found : (
                  Next trip to Canada I will find a grocery and continue my quest…

                  1. Speaking of chocolate and coffee. You wouldn’t believe what I found on the menu board at my local cafe. . . “Nutella Latte”

                2. I fully plan on entering into a junk food coma any way I can. It all depends on where in Canada I end up. My plane ticket gets me as far as Seattle where I’m getting a ride to Bellingham, where I’ve got a friend with a boat that can take me across the border. Haven’t quite figured out how it’s all gonna go down from there, thus the need for camping it out. Ahh the adventures of being a broke student.

                3. Yes! Try Coffee Crisp by all means! I remember that commercial, too. There was another hilarious commercial on that same theme that highlighted the convenience factor. Eg. a guy opening his office desk drawer to pull out a Coffee Crisp bar, compared to the guy opening his desk drawer full of coffee sloshing around with office supplies floating around in it. I believe he dips his mug in for a scoop.

                  1. Oh yeah. I remember that Coffee Crisp commercial. I heard that instead of a regular drawer. They used a glass aquarium for that scene, and just put that inside a regular drawer.

                    1. Interesting fact, Magda!
                      There are times now, when I wish for a drawer full of coffee…

              1. Since this blog format doesn’t allow me to “Reply” to the above “Coffee Crisp” thread. I may or may not have comment on that.

    2. What is Nutella/marshmallow/s’more thing? I must have missed it.

      It sounds…intriguing.

      1. Hi Janene – a few weeks back, Lara, knowing everyone’s love of Nutella, mentioned that she had invented a new camping treat. Rather than make a traditional s’more, you cover a marshmallow in Nutella and roast it. And then you eat it. Easy as that. Throw out the hershey bars.. throw out the graham crackers.. just get marshmallows, nutella and a stick.

        It is incredibly delicious and I will forever be in Lara’s debt for introducing me to it!

        1. Glad to get the Nutellow update! However, I would never throw out a Hershey bar. Just sayin.

          Have fun catching up on the blog. I may or may not have baited you with a duck-related comment.

          1. Giving the Nutellow a try this weekend. Going camping and packing up the Nutella and marshmallows. I’m not even going to bother buying graham crackers.

        2. Oh really? Glad I have this whole forever in my debt thing in writing. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! >:D

          1. Uh oh.

            Mental note that both Lara and Laura appear to have long memories when it comes to promises I make in the comment threads..

            Laura is still waiting for her new windshield wipers, and now I’ve committed myself to a lifetime of servitude to Lara.. I’ve got to be more careful what I promise around here!

              1. Hey, I don’t need windshield wipers so you can keep those, but while you’re out give Laura and Lara their wipers I’d take a new car!

  10. The thought of these cuties “changing into comfy clothes after a long day” is cracking me up!

  11. Lara, Congratulations on your winning ticket and trip to the West Coast of Canada! Sounds like a dream come true for you; awesome!
    Whether, Bamfield, Haida Gwaii, Tofino, Vancouver, or none of the above, think “Rain Hair” and Rubber Boots while “Optomistic Dressing,” and know for certain you’re going to have, (as we said in the 70’s), a really sweet and “Ducky time!” and then S’More.
    Happy trails and tail wagging to you;)

    1. Thanks! But I didn’t win anything. Someone just donated a bunch of miles to me so I could get a free ticket.

      1. “Someone” is pretty awesome. :) Enjoy your trip! Oh, try a Nanaimo Bar if you can – you can get them on BC Ferries or probably most coffee shops or bakeries.

        1. Ack! So many things to try and they are all candy! I didn’t realize that I should have been training before this trip to prepare my body for the huge quantities of sugar I’m about to put into it!!!

  12. Jenene, you should be safe with this question, just don’t ask about “Malevolent Ninja Goons,”according to Magda, that’s sacred ground.
    For full scoop follow threads back and forth between 251 and 250…
    oh ya’ and back to Ducks. Well, actually, if you really want the 16×9, you’ll need to put the book down for awhile and journey from 1000 to date. You could get a few *ticks, see nearly one dozen baby bed-head photos and learn oh so much more about who has built this empire. Definately some belly laughs and soul cleansing, which are good for the human homeostasis any day but especially great for “Price is right days!” Have a great time!!!

    *Neil, I think it’s time to place a search bar in your site for easier meandering. And about the International time zone clocks!?*! =D

  13. I love lettuce in a sandwich/roll but I’m really not fond of it when it’s just sitting there in a salad. :S

  14. This makes me really want something that is capable of having “a bit with all the toppings in it” for dinner! Now…what shall I make?!

  15. Oh boy, the lettuce issue happens to me all the time. Nobody understands why I spend a good 5 minutes trying to pull off that excessive white tasteless lettuce from the top, then I get a good bite of everything delicious instead of a chomping mouthful of flavourless crunchy stuff.

    mmMMMmm, but I love it when they make it right, with minimal white chunks and instead the nice crispy green lettuce, *le sigh*


  16. I also think that this can apply to wraps/fajitas. Usually, the first bite is all slightly-moist, chewy bready-wrap part with some watery lettuce, but when I fill that round platter full of cheese, chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, and onions (well…kinda. :P I don’t really like onions), I can take a bite and be AWESOME!

  17. Can’t believe no-one has mentioned pizza. You know the pointy part which comes from the very middle. The only trouble with trying to save that bit for last is that the crust is the perfect holding apparatis for a slice and it gets messy. Hmm I suppose I could always lick my fingers :)

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