#534 Catching food in your mouth

Toss it mean and catch it clean.

Drop that jaw, tilt that head, and let’s get down to business:

• Level 1: Pop Practice. It’s important to start small with popcorn. There are no penalties for misses here, since the corn is light and doesn’t collect much dust if it hits the ground. This is a baby step and it will take time to master, but it’s an important rite of passage before hitting the next levels. (Note: In some circles, this level also covers marshmallows, Cheerios, and Corn Pops.) 5 points.

• Level 2: The Grape Beyond. Yup, next step is big ol’ grapes. Usually someone on the other end of the movie couch is munching on the vine in their own little bowl. If you’re feeling a bit hungry, simply drop your mouth and tap the couch cushion while saying ‘Uhn! Uhnnnnn!’ to get their attention. Soon a cold, hard grape should be flying fast at you. If the toss is good you should catch it perfectly. Other fruits like raspberries and strawberries fit here as well. 10 points.

• Level 3: Dog On A Bone. This extremely advanced move involves catching something larger than your actual mouth. An apple, peeled orange, or corn on a cob are good targets. You need to time the molar chomp perfectly and be prepared for embarrassing T-shirt stains and a black eye. 25 points.

Yes, when you catch food in your mouth you’re suddenly sitting high on top of the snack-eating universe. You’ve just combined equal parts laziness and athletic ability in a daring couch potato feat the likes of which this family room has never seen before. So when you nail it smoothly you know what to do.

Chomp it loud.

Chew it proud.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

1,494 thoughts to “#534 Catching food in your mouth”

  1. the moment of ‘ding’ when a smell recalls a lost memory. Personally, pine, peppermint and cocoa, and certain plastics bring me back to childhood just after Thanksgiving. When we were finally allowed to bring out the boxes of Christmas decorations and put up the tree. Ralph Lauren Polo always brings me back to a certain high school crush.
    It’s not always a pleasant memory, but usually one that is overwhelming with details.

  2. When your friend doesn’t want his or her food anymore so they give it to you!

    1. Same thing with taking freshly dried sheets and blankets, and burying your face in them.

  3. When you watch a movie or t.v. series that you’ve never seen before and you love it so much that you’re like, “Why didn’t I know about this before?!” Could also apply for food or anything else.

    1. Music! I love it when I find a “new” artist that I love and then discover they’ve already made, like, 3 or 4 albums!

      1. RELATING: after watching “glue movie”, “High Fidelity,” found with “Dry the rain”, by The Beta Band=)))

  4. Waiting for my stuff I ordered online to come. The anticipation of waiting for it is almost better then the product itself sometimes…

    1. It’s just as great when you forget that you ordered something and then get it in the mail. Even though eventually remember that you ordered it, it is still is a great surprise.

  5. Hey guys, I have a econ exam at 2:50 tomorrow, and i don’t know if I will get out in time with good long stories/discriptions for all of my ideas that I have been accumalating all week. But I think there good, so please consider them! Thanks. And I will definately describe them in detail tomorrow. I hope these havent been said already…

    1. Brushing your teeth after a day that left them grimy and gross. They have worked hard and heavy chewing and breaking stuff. They are as tough as it gets. So when you feel the dirt of hard work and dentistry tagged on to these tough babies, you take that brush and wipe them clean, punching food particles and potential gingivitis in the face! So when you slide your tongue down your teeth, they are smooth, sexy, and ready for another tough day of being AWESOME!

    2. BED TIME STORIES as a kid!! – you know, the ones that you crawl under your sheets ready for, pulling them up to your chin as you are led into a world of wonder. Encountering a mischievous goblin one night, soaring the skies on a dragon, or saving the princess from mighty ogres… From the stories that make you laugh, gasp with freight, angst with fear for the hero, or groan in yearnful disapproval when the reader says “until tomorrow.” But in the meantime, you stretch, and lie in bed as you mind prepares to wander and accomplish unparamounted things while your body instead prepares on its own journey into a deep, satisfied sleep. AWESOME!

    3. Solving a mysterious craving and successfully satisfying it(I submitted this in the first competition)

    4. Re-visiting snacks you ate as a kid (dunkaroos, snackpacks, lunchables,etc)

    5. Being part of an inside joke- the moment you are in a group and you and your buddies smile at each other or make a short, inappropriate in context, comment that make you guys giggle. The people not part of it smile awkwardly or, if no comment was dished, remain unknowing on the the glorious and bonding joke that only appeals to its inside members. Welcome sir and just revel in this… AWESOME!

    6. After struggling a bit or a lot in your bed, finally finding and settling into that perfect and most comfortable position to fall asleep. -Whether is a standard position from the book, or one that doesnt seem comfortable (arm around your pillow under then under your opposite shoulder. You know what i mean). You struggle, you become frustrated, you wiggle and dance, then… you find it. You solved the mystery, the puzzle, the combination that opens the previously locked door to the treasures of sleep and dreams. AWESOME!

    7. The morning you wake up and realize you are not sick anymore – You cough, you sniff bulk loads of snot, you wipe sweat off your forehead, and groan at your feverish head-ache as you lie in a pond of your sweat above your bed. You are miserable. Why do you deserve this? Is this forever? It feels like it. You would fall to your knees and shout at the world as rain pours down on you weighing down your shirt and hair, but then you realize that the rain would make you colder and worse, nor can you shout with that sore throat, and besides… since when do you have the energy to get out of your bed. Then… you wake up. Something is different. As sun splashes on your face you breathe through your nose for what seems like the first time in a hundred years and it feels great! You wipe your damp fore-head off, no head-ache, no throbbing or fever, wow! that feels great! You cough a decisive cough that ends it all, sweet! You get out of bed leaving that sweaty swamp behind and realize you have energy! You are not sick anymore! Man! doesn’t this just feel… AWESOME!

    Wish me luck tom!

  6. When you play a video game and you make the sounds of planes/guns/thunder with your mouth… pew ! pew-pew-pew, woooooosh…

  7. The things you can make out of potatos. I don’t like them very much, but I love chips, potato salad, mash, …
    Awesome!

  8. Getting your friend to share a meal with you at a restaurant, even if you hardly have the same taste.
    I did that with my best friend once – and he totally hated, what we’ve ordered. I loved it. ;)

  9. Leaving the house and getting 10 minutes down the road and thinking you forgot something that was important, but you double check and you really do have it.
    Did that this morning. I thought I forgot my wallet at home, but I double checked and it was in the far corner of my purse. Also thought I forgot my wedding rings and when I felt my finger…..I really did. :-(

    1. Aww, that’s sad. But in terms of usefulness, I’d say you came out on top with the thing you DID remember!

  10. Wearing your spring shoes for the first time after a long and cold winter.
    Thanks to nice and cozy boots who kept our feet warm in winter but now the snow is melted and its time to pull out your last years sneakers from that dusty box where they waited for this moment all the winter. Lets pull them out. it feels like flying. you can run up the stairs like lightningguy from TV. for me this moment was like a week ago and this year the winter was very cold and long so this feeling just felt simply AWESOME!

  11. Practicing something until you finally get it down “perfectly.”
    whether it’s a song or a speech for your Oral Communications class or maybe you’ve been working on your three point shots, the feeling of confidently performing it makes the practice totally worth it. It’s one of those high on life feelings, awesome! :)

  12. That person who delivers the packages to your house.
    Mine is a very funny woman, who is always happy like a child when you open the door, so she doesn’t have to bother a neighbour with your mail.

  13. I know of something awesome. A pure, unblocked, go-everywhere-you-want-to-go and do-everything-you-want-to-do, neutrality-driven, web-surfing, video-chatting, free-to-use-whatever-IM-client-you-want, freedom-to-avoid-Internet Explorer-like-the-plague, internet.

    Now that’s just AWESOME.

  14. When someone dumps a whole packet of pop rocks in their mouth and keeps their mouth open so that you can enjoy the sound :)

    AWESOME!

      1. It’s a race to beat the clock! Also works with pokey kids. (“bet you can’t get dressed before the beep!”)

  15. The first time you can wear your summer shoes in the spring.

    Today I had this awesome moment when finally, after having my feet stuck on those heavy winter shoes for months, I could put those light, soft tennis shoes on and enjoy the awesomeness that is the summer coming :)

    1. Yeah! Or something that is a RIDICULOUS percentage off … the other day in Bath and Body Works, there was a table with a sign: “90% Off, This Table Only”.

      NINETY PERCENT OFF?!?! Awesome!

  16. The “new book/bestseller” section at the library. So exciting to find something new/fun to read!

  17. New book smell.

    (There must be some geek out there who knows what I’m talking about.)

    ((School textbooks count too))

    1. You don’t have to be a geek to agree! I totally know what you mean, I used to open and go through the pages of all my new books the day before school started.

  18. 3D
    Because everything looks better when it POPS, cardboards, homemade artwork or movies, everything 3D is AWESOME!

  19. When you imagine an outfit in your head and when you go to wear it it looks just as great as you had imagined it.

    It has happened to me all to often when I think of a great out fit, usually after seeing something in a magazine or on television I pull the pieces together from my closet put it on, look in the mirror, and think “What was I thinking?!” take it off and go back to one of my old standby outfits. However, there are those times where everything falls in to place and the outfit you have imagined will look amazing does in fact look amazing and you end up feeling like a million bucks for the whole day!

    1. Or it works in the opposite way. You put on an outfit that you think might not work at all, but by the end of the day, it is your new favorite outfit.

  20. The feeling of relief, when you stay up late at night with a puking dog worrying, and in the morning, you find out she is all better.

    1. My bff tried to get me to watch a show and I wouldn’t for the longest time. I finally gave up and watched it if she would start watching one of my favorite…we both love them! We can’t stop talking about them now.

      1. I know how that goes. :) Or how about when you and your friend have watched the series so much that you and she can quote portions of episodes?

          1. “Come on B.A.! If you keep doing that they’re going to set you in front of a bank, holding a clock.”

      2. I found my favourite TV-show this way. I always thought “Huh, what a stupid plot” and then a friend pushed me to watch it with her and I was totally hooked. :D

        1. I know, that’s what I first thought too, but after about being forced to watch 3 or 4 episodes I really liked it.

  21. writing papers single spaced, then changing it to double spaced to find out you are almost done

  22. When you are at Barnes & Noble, and you decide to see if the new book in your favorite series is released, and it is.

  23. When you realized you woke up thinking its a work day when its actually a public holiday or weekend – The relief of knowing you can fall back to bed and knock yourself out in sleep – Awesome! =)

  24. Reading a book where the author does something so inspiring, then deciding that when you are older you are going to do the exact same thing.

  25. Your facebook wall on your birthday.
    Everyone stops by to say Happy birthday and leave good wishes; some of them are not even that close and didn’t really remember your birthday but it still feels AWESOME.

  26. I know this list already includes the Laugh Echo, but I think just plain old echos are pretty awesome too. You don’t really get to hear an echo very often so when you do, it’s even more awesome. You say something once, but hear it four times!? Cool. Sweet. Definitely awesome.

    1. No need to wait! I agree, this is awesome. Even better if you find out it’s one of your favourite meals, and you didn’t ruin your appetite with an ill-timed snack!

  27. the first warm day of spring, everyone breaks out the shorts and tee-shirts and enjoys the sun. lay out soaking up some rays and maybe getting a little pink. i just had one of those days and it was AWESOME!

  28. When you find out the person, you are attracted to, likes that one special thing (a TV-show, a book, a band or else) nobody else does or knows. You are able to talk about it and nobody else knows what the hell you’re reffering to.
    Awesome! :D

  29. When I walk into the coffee shop and they already know what I’m going to order is Awesome!!

  30. I had to use the bathroom badly but no one was around to watch my laptop and bag. I couldn’t wait so I left them unattended, wallet and all. Nothing was stolen or bothered, AwEsOmE!!!

    1. If I see this happening to someone, I always keep an eye on their stuff. I’m not sure what I’d do if someone started to mess with the stuff, though! I’m hoping that it’s enough that someone is obviously staring RIGHT AT YOU.

      1. jdurley, that comment cracked me up because it echoed my EXACT thoughts. I always think that. I’ll be watching their stuff and then go .. wait, what am I gonna do, get up and body-check someone for going near that stranger’s things? What if it’s someone they know? Luckily, I’ve never had to deal with this (yet). Haha :)

  31. Music in an foreign laguage you don’t understand. Greek, Japanese, Italian – what ever. The singer can sing whatever he or she likes and you like it anyway.

  32. The little smiley face on the upper right hand corner of 1000 Awesome Things. (How long has that been there?!)

    1. I don’t see one up there. I see one at the very bottom. Everyone keeps talking about the smiley face at the top, but apparently it is hiding from me. The bottom one is cute. have you seen that one? Or maybe there are smileys in different places for different people depending on where you are. i don’t know….

  33. jinx wars. let’s face it- nothing’s as great as calling a jinx on someone- only to jinx again!! my friend and i just yell ‘coke’ actually, cause that’s the duty owed to the winner. But we end up in a long chain of COKE!!’s, with varying pauses in between, trying to jump the gun on the other person and finalize how you TOTALLY won that- but they’re just as stubborn and keep calling right there with you. i can’t think of any other kind of disagreement that ends up with me feeling so awesome, no matter who wins in the end :)

  34. when you peel an orange and discover those little baby orange pieces sandwhiched between the regular sized pieces…they always taste the best…..Awesome!

  35. Watching your parents attempt to play a video game for the first time. When I was younger, I always thought my parents were good at everything. It was nice being able to beat them in MarioKart.

    1. I swear that the baby growing inside of you sucks into itself all of your ability to play video games, follow more than one conversation at a time, keep up with current slang, and of course, the ability to care about what you are wearing OUT IN PUBLIC for goodness sake! God, you are so embarrassing!

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