#534 Catching food in your mouth

Toss it mean and catch it clean.

Drop that jaw, tilt that head, and let’s get down to business:

• Level 1: Pop Practice. It’s important to start small with popcorn. There are no penalties for misses here, since the corn is light and doesn’t collect much dust if it hits the ground. This is a baby step and it will take time to master, but it’s an important rite of passage before hitting the next levels. (Note: In some circles, this level also covers marshmallows, Cheerios, and Corn Pops.) 5 points.

• Level 2: The Grape Beyond. Yup, next step is big ol’ grapes. Usually someone on the other end of the movie couch is munching on the vine in their own little bowl. If you’re feeling a bit hungry, simply drop your mouth and tap the couch cushion while saying ‘Uhn! Uhnnnnn!’ to get their attention. Soon a cold, hard grape should be flying fast at you. If the toss is good you should catch it perfectly. Other fruits like raspberries and strawberries fit here as well. 10 points.

• Level 3: Dog On A Bone. This extremely advanced move involves catching something larger than your actual mouth. An apple, peeled orange, or corn on a cob are good targets. You need to time the molar chomp perfectly and be prepared for embarrassing T-shirt stains and a black eye. 25 points.

Yes, when you catch food in your mouth you’re suddenly sitting high on top of the snack-eating universe. You’ve just combined equal parts laziness and athletic ability in a daring couch potato feat the likes of which this family room has never seen before. So when you nail it smoothly you know what to do.

Chomp it loud.

Chew it proud.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

1,494 thoughts to “#534 Catching food in your mouth”

  1. when the team you pick to cheer for in the NCAA tournament makes it all the way to the finals only to lose to stupid Duke : ( still awesome they went that far tho!

  2. Facts that all kids know.

    including
    every dinosaur species
    the tallest building in the world
    the longest word in the english language
    the most poisonous kind of spider, snake, etc

    1. lol. I LOVE THIS. i also love when little kids say something like “my lego ship goes infinity mph” to which the friend retorts “oh yea, well mine goes infinity AND ONE mph!!!”
      hahaha i think its tooo funny.

      1. Okay, EVERYONE knows Lego spaceships only travel as fast as you can make humming and whooshing noises!

        Not only that but they don’t need to go infinity mph, or even faster than light speed because they can use portals, wormholes or teleportation for traveling between worlds (i.e. to your friend’s house down the street) Cryogenics may be involved because they don’t want to be awake for the trip: it will seem instantaneous to the lego men.
        And once you get a little older than that you know that space travel is faster than light speed because you consider space as the thing that’s moving.

        And everyone knows that: a laser blaster with two orange dots is more powerful than one orange dot
        Stacking computers on top of each other makes them more powerful
        Robots can be reprogrammed to switch allegiance
        Amputations are not life threatening injuries
        Anything short of death can be healed, although you might end up half robot
        Anyone with facial hair is potentially a bad guy. Corollary: Pirates are too treacherous to be on the good guys’ side but too cool to be evil like Sith lords

        ;)

        1. And if the spaceship is big, it needs some extreme boosters, with stacked green discs to show the combustion. Green dots can be placed on the feet for iron-man-esque flight. The guy with the black helmet and black visor is a badass.

        2. Awesome thing: mixing and matching the rules from different stories. I’ll take medical technology from Star Trek, weapons from Star Wars, the United States Presidency and police force, and if there’s no such thing as magic then Voldemort can be a Sith Lord. After all that, it’s only fair that pirate boats should get to fly.

    2. It’s so sad that we adults tend to forget all these fun facts. I worked at a children’s library for a few summers, and the things they would remind me of was like a walk down memory lane.

  3. deja vu. because while it may be trippy and frustrating at times, its still just sooo cool.

  4. That Song.

    You know what I’m talking about. You have your iTunes open, jamming along on shuffle…

    Then that song comes on.
    You know the songs I’m talking about.
    That one you slow danced for the first time, with your first love. Bringing back all those awesome memories.
    Or the song that meant the most to you while you were in a dark place. You pulled through that tough season because of THAT song.

    They mean the most, you forget about them… yet, the minute you hear it again:you feel happy, sad, have hope because of what it means to you.

          1. But Aunts don’t freak out as much as your mom if you need to talk about something *ahem* personal.

  5. When you are sick and you (or your mom, spouse, room mate, etc. ) puts your blanket in the dryer for a couple seconds so you get a nice warm blankie to help you feel better.

  6. Eating your vegetables

    because you feel healthier and virtuous, even if you eat them every day. You just gave your body exactly what the doctor ordered – literally!

    1. This is one that I can now appreciate. I was a really picky eater when I was younger (and by younger I mean from my childhood up through my freshman year of college …). My favorite vegetables were corn and potatoes, neither of which are actually even veggies.

      Now that I’ve overcome that crippling pickiness, I can fully appreciate the eating of vegetables, knowing that I’m now getting what I missed out on for all those years. :)

  7. Having the perfect thing to say at the right time. Example:

    *me selling cookies to a beautiful girl*

    “These cookies look weird.”

    “Well so do I, but doesn’t mean we’re not sweet.”

    Actually happened and it was awesome!
    (too bad she didn’t hear me)

  8. Got it: “Typing out a message on twitter that comes out to exactly 140 characters.”

    An idea flashes in your head. It’s genius. You’re friends will love it. It’s perfect for twitter. You head over there and type so quickly you don’t care about the character limit. You’ll shorten it later, you figure. Your fingers whap away at the keys. The grammar is perfect. The idea unfolds better than a well-built lawn chair. You near the end. The character count ticks down like a bomb in a Nicholas Cage movie. Then, BAM—you hit the final period. The clock strikes “0”. The perfect message. No changes needed. The computer starts cheering for you. You throw your hands up, triumphant. The day can’t only go downhill from here.

    Awesome!

  9. When you’re eating some sort of snack or small food and find a ridiculously large and deformed one. i.e. chip, corn flake, cracker. Then you want to keep it forever, but it looks so delicious!

      1. I SO had one of those the other day. It was as big as my palm, honestly. It was bigger than a small apple. Awesome!

  10. Your favorite blanket/stuffed animal from your childhood.

    At one point it time, that thing was your LIFE. You were like Linus with his blanket. So, even though you’ve grown up and moved on, when you find that special teddy bear stuffed in the corner of a box, you get a quick flashback to when life was simpler.

  11. When you here a classic tv show theme and you’re like, “Oh my gosh, I remember that! I used to watch that all the time!” Or better yet, remember at the same time as your friend, look at each other, each others eyes widen, you both inhale with excitement, and give your response.

    1. Yes!! My friends and I still occasionally recite the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” theme song.

  12. Telling a friend about a crazy dream you had, with them in it.

    I remember at one point one of my friends telling me about a dream where we were all X-men, but had lost our powers, and were on a quest to get them back. When she told me, the way she told it left me laughing so hard I almost cried.

  13. Getting to the part in the book where the prologue is from. Reading it in the front cover, it’s like a tantalizing hint at the goodness to come once you really crack open the pages. You’re reading along, enjoying the ride, when BAM! You scan familiar sentences, realizing that it’s not deja vu — it’s the prologue! Suddenly you’re more connected to the story than ever, and your reading gets faster, more voracious, and totally AWESOME.

  14. When you notice that a friend or enemy is standing on a sum of money and they don’t notice. “Don’t notice, please don’t notice. Move away, come on. Don’t look down. Keep them focused on you.” They finally move away. Claim your prize!

  15. Old slang.

    Groovy! Huzzah! Fresh! Whether it’s from 1990 or the 19th century, old slang is coming back hard, and there’s no way you can stop it.

  16. When you’re vacuuming the carpet in your room and you hear solid particles of dirt get sucked up through the tube!

  17. When you notice people reading or thinking hard, and they make facial expressions or hand movements.

    I always love to see someone reading a really good book with a part that will make them smile, laugh, or cry, and it’s fun to see someone sitting next to you trying to write a ballad for their assessment in class and moving their hands as if a word that rhymes with orange will magically appear out of thin air.

    1. When I worked at Chuck E Cheese, we employees used to have a whole soap opera scenerio figured because of the way the characters would glance back and forth at each other.

  18. Cold showers are awesome!

    I mean when it’s finally so warm outside, that you can only take a cold shower to fresh up. It’s even more awesome when you’ve worked out before than and you’re even more hotter and the cold shower feel even better :)

  19. When you stand on the winning number of a cake walk. The moment you realize you’re on that number, the same moment you realize that you actually won something, the same moment you realize that you won a free, delicious cake!

  20. Seeing your hometown from the air before landing.

    Flying is already a thrill like no other. But seeing your life– the people you love, the school you go to, the building you work in, the street you live on–from the window of an airplane just makes it mesmerizing.

    Sometimes it sneaks up on you when you least expect it, when your finally come out from the clouds and the first thing you see is the sparkle of the skyline that represents everything you love about where you live.

    Other times you know it’s coming. You look at the grid of streets almost like it’s a living map; you could write street names and park names on the window with a little pen if you wanted.

    Millions of people can live in the biggest cities. But seeing one from the air makes everyone realize your hometown is almost like your best friend. You shared the best and worst moments of your life and learned so much about yourself and everyone you love in that space of buildings and lit streets 4000 feet below your plane.

    AWESOME!

  21. Rockpools at the beach.

    Who didn’t get that thrill from climbing over treacherous rocks as a child, risking scraped knees, to discover a miniature water wonderland open up before your eyes? As a young explorer its like the ocean is offering you a bite-sized sample of the big blue sea. Get to know the local characters there – each pool is its own little neighbourhood. Over there by the seaweed, thats where the limpets hang out. Beware of disturbing that rock. Thats old man crab’s house. If you’re lucky you might just catch a glimpse of the starfish while its in town. If you like you can even show off your prowess as an angler, using the plastic fishing net bought from the gift shop moments earlier. Yes you truly are the master of your own little ocean.

    Awesome.

  22. Taking the backroads to get to your destination. Take your time and enjoy the scenery.

    1. My brother and I love doing this. We call it “taking a special route”. We have found some pretty cool stuff on “special routes” over the years.

      1. I really don’t like taking the interstate anywhere. I only will drive it when absolutely needed. I take the backroads all the time. Yeah, it takes longer and uses up more gas, but I get to see so many things. And me and the cars around me aren’t driving 70 mph and above and driving like idiots.

    2. We call it the “scenic route”. Sounds great until everyone figures out that I’m just lost. :)

  23. Awesome: finding something you thought you’d lost a long time ago. Or finding your old favourite toys from childhood again – takes you right back.
    And… being in bed when it rains.

  24. Finishing a novel!
    You are a literary champion for a day, and from then on when someone mentions your novel in conversation you get to say, “I’ve read that!”.

  25. Retro workout clothing/leotards/one piece suits.

    The lady rollerblading through the park yesterday in the one piece, electric blue, short suit reminded me of all the great old exercise gear. This category also includes one piece ski suits and matching track suits.

    1. I only owned a leotard once and I was about 5 years old. It was my favorite piece of clothing. It was simple black and I tried to wear it everywhere.

      1. I had a few pretty slammin’ leotards when I was five, too. I was devastated when my mom explained to me that leotards, tights, and ballet slippers were not always an acceptable form of clothing for all my school and public-outing needs.

  26. ID pictures are definitely awesome.
    Sometimes they’re good, sometimes they’re not, but they can always provide some great entertainment!

    1. OMG. My friends make sure to remind me at any opportunity that my student ID photo makes me look like a flight attendant. Thanks, guys.

  27. Snow days.

    Forecast shows that Yourtown, USA will be hit with a few inches of snow overnight. Ironically, the next morning you’re more than eager to get up at the crack of dawn to watch the news and see if your school’s name decorates that blue bar at the bottom of the screen. And there it is! You whoop, you holler, you cheer, and then go back to bed. After all, it’s not even light out yet.

  28. My most awesome thing is when you are feeling down and the smallest thing of beauty reminds you that there is hope…

    When you are sad or depressed and you happen to look out outside and see the leaves dancing in the wind, or the brightest red bird you’ve ever seen in your life, or a squirrel eating a nut right in front of you and that moment where you forget your troubles and all you see is beauty is my most awesome moment.

    It’s when you take a break from all the worrying and realize just for that moment that the world isn’t all ugly and there is still hope.

    1. That’s quite lovely, Taylor. I would like to suggest the Coldplay song “Don’t Panic” to accompany this post.

      “We live in a beautiful world. Ya we do, Ya we do.”

    2. I’ve been having quite a dramatic time with my ex-boyfriend and best friend as of late, learning that they have had feelings for each other since even before we broke up. On top of that, I found out while I am in Barcelona (which is wonderful), without a soul to confide in.

      Today, I just decided to take a different route somewhere and a towering tree had written on it:

      “If I weren’t a tree, I would kiss you right now.”

      It was beautiful! It was funny! It made me smile as I have not in quite a long time. It was awesome.

      1. Dorothy, I love that story! Was the tree in Barcelona? I was just there in March, and I agree it is a wonderful city. I need to go back, though because it was too quick – I didn’t have a chance to see a LOT of things I wanted to.

  29. Crossing off the last day on a calender before something awesome.

    Maybe it’s your birthday, or a long weekend, and the anticipation has been killing you. But now, you get to cross off that last day. It always feels super rewarding, because hey! Not only do you get to physically confirm that your waiting is over, but there’s somthing awesome tommorow!

    It’s pretty awesome.

  30. Thinking you failed a test only to get it back and realize you not only passed by you ACED that sucker!!

  31. Realizing that you do not have to get up when the alarm goes off!!

    relax, turn that alarm off. Pull those covers over your head and just go back to sleep…it is Saturday!!

  32. Writing & finishing a really long school paper without wasting any time on Facebook!!

      1. haha, I think most of the time it is but there is always that 1 in 10 million chance, right?

    1. I did this once. It was an extreme test of will, I can tell you that. I actually wrote a 10 page (rough draft) paper in a single day, and I think it was mostly possible because of my facebook ban.

  33. Getting a cool package in the mail — whether it’s something your ordered online weeks ago or whether it’s a cool prize you won online…like an autographed book, for instance.

    LOL.

  34. Elevator Trips

    I dunno if this has been done, but I particularly love doing these things with my friends

    Screaming (of course when you’re alone)

    Jumping just as it’s going down and being absolutely terrified, even thoe you’ve done it about 500 times before

    or (My personal favorite) when in in a glass elevator, waving to the people in the foodcourt and spinning around, laughing and wacking your face into the elevator door when they awkwardly wave back with the person sitting with them look around really confused.

    Awesome!

    1. I’d never even HEARD of jumping in an elevator until I saw that scene in “Elf” where Buddy and Michael are jumping up and down in the Gimbel’s elevator. That seems so scary. I can’t tempt fate like that, I don’t have the best luck!

    2. I learned the jumping in the elevator trick on my trip to Canada….. our tour guide had a big group of us do it…so awesome!!

  35. Your mom’s cooking! Even if she’s not known for her culinary skills, she’s always got one dish up her sleeve that tastes so good!

  36. Staying on the beach all night with friends. Also known as a Brazilian Luau!!!
    sooo AWESOME!

  37. When the Dayquil kicks in!!!
    You wake up feeling like you have been hit by a train, you smell like a ninety year old man because of all the Tiger bomb you had to rub on your aching muscles the night before… 6:00am and a long day of work is ahead! A day off is out of the question, because you are still financially embarrased from christmas time… pop a dayquill and wait. Before you know it, you are sitting at your desk at work, replying to a blog that has nothing to do with your job, (awesome in itself!) and ahhhhhh, sweet releif! The sore throat, aching muscles, snotty nose and puffy eyes seem to disappear even if it’s only breifly it still gives you that feeling of….

    AWESOME!!!

  38. Playing sports in the rain with friends or siblings.
    you laugh and you play while everyone else that is huddled under an umbrella thinks that your crazy!!
    Especially awesome when it is hot outside and the rain is cold(er)!!
    AWESOME

  39. Getting a bunch of friends on the first day at a new school
    When you go to a different city or country, meaning your starting at a new school. Your all tense and everything seems horrible. Then as soon as you walk into your new classroom, five people walk up and ask if you want to come work with them or just join in on their conversation!

    AWESOME

    1. Being the ‘new kid’ a lot of times in my life, this is really awesome. My family moved around so much and I always dreaded that first day at a new school. I’m a bit shy as it is, but you throw me in a place with no one I know and I tend to keep to myself. But this one school in 4th grade was the best. As soon as I walked through those doors it was like I was everyone’s instant friend. That means a lot to a 9 year old.

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