Squeeze too much and you’re stuck with a syrupy red pool smeared across the side of your plate. Squeeze too little and you’ve got a cold and tasteless pile of potato blandness. Squeeze just right and you’re
AWESOME!
Photo from: here
#337 Getting buried under piles of heavy blankets on a cold night
Joey doesn’t have heat.
Honestly, when I crashed at his cramped apartment a couple nights ago he welcomed me in wearing three sweaters and a set of chattering teeth while explaining that his apartment has no heat, so while he was glad I came over it was going to be a matter of setting up an army of space heaters to keep warm.
After catching up for a couple hours it was time to hit the hay and since Joey’s a great friend he took care to drag his arm along the spare mattress to wipe the loud clattery pile of extension cords, extra keys, and cell phone batteries onto the rock hard floor before bed. He then apologized for having no blinds in the room, said to watch out for the mouse trap under the bed, and tossed a pin cushion onto the mattress for a pillow.
“Need anything else?”, he asked, while yawning and scratching his armpit.
“Blankets,” I replied, my tired eyes narrowing at the slippery cold mattress and terrible sleepless night before me. I pictured waking up with my eyelids frostbitten shut and my big toes turned blue and dead in the dark. “Blankets Joey … for God’s sakes blankets.”
“Oh … right,” he said. “Hmm, lemme see what I’ve got around here.”
And so began a fast-paced five minute hunt around his apartment for anything resembling a thin bed covering. First a dusty duvet was yanked from the closet, then a few mothball-smelling sheets recovered from under a bed, and then finally we hit a forgotten motherlode stash of blankets piled up behind the couch. Pretty soon we’d built a thick and heavy eight-layer fortress from the cold and I brushed my teeth, stripped right down, and jumped into those frozen sheets.
And let me tell you.
That beautifully thick stack of blankets kept every single ounce of heat in all night and helped me sleep in a heavenly bed of bliss. The heaviness on top of me felt safe and secure and I rested knowing that outside my Fortress of Fire lay an ice-cold deathtrap trying to lure me to the bathroom. Well friends… the good news is my bladder didn’t burst and I managed to spend a beautifully warm and toasty night under a giant thick pile of
AWESOME!
#338 When the bus driver stops the bus to let you off near your home
Hey, Mr. Bus Driver.
Thanks for shortening our walk, thanks for making things easy, and thanks for breaking all the rules in the name of
AWESOME!
Thank you to The Globe and Mail for naming The Book of Awesome #1 on their 2010 Nonfiction Bestseller List.
Photo from: here
#339 Being the first of your friends to discover the latest Internet joke
You’re a modern day explorer.
Surfing electronic waves, battling pop-up storms, and sidestepping phishing nets, you’re mapping the distant shores of cyberspace. Soon it’s time to grab one of those extendable telescope things, climb the windy mast, and step into the little basket before staring deep into the thin horizon.
After squinting and staring into the distance your eyeballs suddenly pop when you spot a sandy shoreline full of biting babies, rapping grandmas, and grainy videos of some guy getting squared with a tennis ball. Soon you’re yelling to friends on the mop deck, drafting a scroll for the queen, and getting everyone to come visit this new world.
Sure, Captain Cook sailed deep and Christopher Columbus sailed far, but they’re not around anymore and brother, you are. Yes, the baggy eyes, carpal tunnel, and painful throat scurvy was worth it.
So today we say thanks for sailing the seas and finding all those distant islands of
AWESOME!
Photos from: here and here
#340 Feeling it in your bones
Born and blasted into the world you’re a baby brain with wide eyes, chubby legs, and cloudy thoughts. Mom lifts you and picks you, eyes open and close, and fogs rise and settle. Tears stream and faces scream as your swirling brain twists and turns into thoughts…
Nothing makes sense till it does.
Nothing feels right till it does.
Chalk raps on blackboards beside times tables, language stirs sounds into sentences, and stories send you flying into faraway worlds. Book reports and homework inspections, chemistry labs and biology dissections, all fill your spinning brain with numbers and theories and thoughts…
Nothing makes sense till it does.
Nothing feels right till it does.
Teenage sleepovers and late night walks, summertime camps and suppertime talks, keep expanding your mind and your understanding of the world. First kisses and first touches, first fights and first blushes, all fill your heart with dreams, expand your brain’s book shelf, and get you thinking about a life below the surface of yourself.
Nothing makes sense till it does.
Nothing feels right till it does.
But … sometimes challenging lectures or scattering friends, confusing debates without exams at the end, can frighten your mind and scare dreams away, can frighten your life and trade tomorrows for todays. Family pressures and social graces, broken promises from trusted faces, could suddenly swirl you upside down and scatter your mind or dim your heart…
When nothing makes sense …
… … When nothing feels right …
… … … … When it gets scary to realize…
… … … … … … There are no instructions in life…
That’s when it’s time to stop, it’s time to think, it’s time to pause, it’s time to blink. When you hit the end of the year open your eyes and look behind you. When you hit the end of the year open your eyes and look inside you.
Because today you’re right here …
… … And there’s so far to go …
… … … … And today there’s still fear …
… … … … … … But there’s only one way to know …
Feel it in your bones, feel it in your bones, feel it in your bones.
Feel your bones to move forward, feel your bones to move on, feel your bones to forget, feel your bones to carry on… just feel your bones to say you’re sorry, feel your bones to show you care, feel your bones to choose tomorrow, and feel those bones to get you there.
Because when your world sorts itself out, when your head moves aside, when your heart thumps up front, when that blood bubbles inside, well that’s when you know, that’s when you see, that’s when you finally become … what you were meant to be.
So whatever you’re thinking about today …. stop trying to choose and choose. Whatever you’re searching for today … just look inside for clues. Yes, whatever you’re thinking about … just stop and feel instead. Cause when you feel it in your bones you can smile and forget your head.
Nothing makes sense till it does.
Nothing feels right till it does.
Nothing makes sense till you feel it.
Nothing feels right till you know.
AWESOME!
Click here for last year’s final post.
Thanks sincerely for reading and happy new year!
#342 Finding good reading material in someone else’s bathroom
Bathroom readers of the world, unite!
It doesn’t matter if it’s an old issue of Reader’s Digest on top of the tank, yesterday’s crinkly newspaper lying on the floor, or a dog-eared comic book sitting on the bathroom counter. Nope, all that matters is now we don’t have to read the back of the shampoo bottle over and over again.
Fellow bathroom reader, thank you for heeding the call, thank you for keeping magazines in the stall, and thank you for being so absoflushinglutely
AWESOME!
Photo from: here
#343 When the inlaws leave
Now, now.
Don’t get us wrong.
It’s great filling the home with hugs and love and holiday joy. Everyone loves grandpas and grandmas and brand new toys. Yes, family fills living rooms with laughter, basements with board games, and kitchens with kisses.
But let’s be honest — holiday guests come with a bit of holiday stress, too.
Mall hopping and last-minute shopping, wrapping boxes of fancy chocolates, cooking suppers without taking uppers — yes, it adds up to memories and it adds up to fun but we’re saying it’s also okay when the visit is done.
It’s beautiful opening your hearts and your home to the people you love.
And it’s beautiful kissing goodbye and getting your place back, too.
AWESOME!
The Book of (Even More) Awesome comes out in Spring, 2011!
#344 Lazing on the couch after a big holiday feast
After getting stuffed with stuffing and packed with potatoes someone kindly rolls you to the couch and covers you with old blankets and rogue scraps of wrapping paper for your post-holiday meal snooze. Yes, now it’s time to smile sweetly and pop outta your pants before spacing into a turkey high.
AWESOME!
Thank you to The Toronto Star for naming The Book of Awesome #1 on their 2010 Bestsellers List.
Photo from: here
#345 When the Christmas tree gives the only light in the room
Turn out the lights.
Pull the curtains open and watch as jumbo snowflakes drift past the window, snow-covered kids walk by dragging sleds, and winter winds whisper through the evergreens. Smell the turkey crisping in the oven, listen to scratchy carols spinning in your head, and hear footsteps from the family slowly come together in front of the sparkling tree…
Swipe your daughter’s bangs as she lies in your lap, smile at grandpa sipping eggnog on the ottoman, or cuddle up with your cousins in a pile of cozy blankets and comfy sweats on the couch.
Sip that crystal glass of eggnog, sniff the pine of the tree, and relax and share a quiet moment of bliss with someone touching your hands … or your heart.
AWESOME!
Happy holidays, everybody.
Photo from: here