#544 Elementary school science fairs

It all starts with poster board.

Getting mom to drive to the drug store to load up on the thick flimsy is a great start to a great project. Grab a sheet of white, a sheet of neon pink, and if you’re lucky one of those thick cardboard three-folds. Come on, we both know that cardboard added some scientific integrity to your research — the seventh grade equivalent of getting your work published in The New England Journal of Awesome.

Now, it doesn’t end there. Next you’re grabbing markers, spray paint, baking soda, and Styrofoam. Once you’ve got everything together you’re rushing home and getting down to science, people. The carpeted corner of the unfinished basement becomes your lab and it’s time to spend hours putting on lab coats, staring into microscopes, and pour bubbling green liquids into beakers. Also, taping.

Come on and let’s count down some classics:

6. The solar system. Jabbing those spray-painted Styrofoam balls with a straightened out coat hanger is a truly great feeling. As is painting a splotchy brown Australia on Earth and a big eye on Jupiter. If you want to go the To Scale route, remember to leave Pluto at home.

5. Volcano. There are two types of eruptions. First, there’s the Underwhelming Fizz — where you stare deep into the mouth of the fiery beast only to witness some rock-hard hunks of baking soda floating in a pool of strong-smelling vinegar. It’s disappointing, but you can always try again and hope for a Superblow — where everyone stares with wide-eyes as red ooze bubbles and slides down your carefully painted volcano onto the GI Joe townspeople below.

4. The one the kid’s parents obviously did. Also known as robbing your child of the thrill of scientific discovery in exchange for a B+.

3. Growing something. Whether it was lima beans or patches of fresh grass, it was a a classic move to study Sunlight vs. Shadows, Music vs. No Music, or Watering Plants vs. Pouring Coke On Them.

2. Coke is bad. Speaking of Coke, did you have that kid who left a tooth or some nails sitting in it for a month? The groundbreaking research typically concluded with a harsh indictment of the entire soda industry. And maybe a business card for the kid’s dad who was a dentist.

1. The one that didn’t work. Every science fair had a few of these gems. They were sad and beautiful at the same time. Because that down-faced ten year old standing in front of a dim lightbulb was learning how to deal with lost efforts and how to get back their drive after a fall. Keep that chin up, tiger. You’ll get ’em next time.

Yes, beautiful science fair moments were always a perfect close to months of hallway passion, energetic teachers, and long lonely nights cutting construction paper letters with pinking shears. Letting kids learn, letting kids dream, letting kids try and try and try — well, there’s just so much good that comes of that.

As they bottle insects, jab battery wires into lemons, and rub magnets together, you can see the whirring gears spinning with delight. Yes, all that learning just sponges, soaks in, and sticks there forever as the next generation of curiosity seekers tease their buzzing minds forward and forward and forward…

AWESOME!

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1,234 thoughts to “#544 Elementary school science fairs”

  1. when you look into the eyes of someone you truly love and see that special sparkle there that you know is only there for you!

    AWESOME

    1. waking in the middle of the night to the sound of your child *retching*. Reeling from bed into the darkened hall and finding your way to the bathroom where you see his small convulsed body relieving himself of all the nasties residing within. Holding his sweaty, clammy head and rubbing his back. Handing him a cup with a small bit of water to swish in his mouth and tucking him back in bed, with a bowl by his side.
      Walking back to the bathroom prepared for battle only to find: He hit the bowl! No mess!
      It sucks when they’re sick, but the tiny parade of joy when you realize they are old enough to recognize the icky feeling and make it in time to the bathroom? AWESOME!

      [this may or may not resemble my own night last night ;-) ]

  2. Dousing yourself with ice-cold hosewater, then jumping in the pool.

    Do it yourself, or have a friend do it if you can’t inflict it upon yourself. Squeal and hop around like an idiot for a few seconds. Then jump into the pool. What felt slightly cool before now feels like bathwater. AAAH. :)

    I did this all the time when I was a kid, and it was always awesome. It’s an excellent method for people like me who are complete wusses when it comes to entering a pool whose water temperature is best described as “refreshing”. And when you use the buddy method, it’s fun for the hose-wielder too.

  3. When I am in a rush and need something from the store – and I score a stellar parking spot AND no line at the register!

  4. When you have a song stuck in your head, but you can’t remember the lyrics, name of the song, name of the band or ANYTHING about the song…and magically you either find the song on the radio or the internet, or a really good friend who knows you too well finds the song you were thinking of all along (even though you couldn’t give them any clues to work with).

    I’m not sure if this happens to many, but it happens to me too frequently, and when someone finds me that song, its AWESOME

  5. finding out new shortcuts and backroads that allow you to get to where you want to go 10 minutes faster than the previous route

    1. I agree, I am from the US but I’m an exchange student in Brasil right now, carnaval was CRAZY awesome!!! I think every year I am going to have a Carnaval Party from now on!!!

  6. When you find a new backroute or shortcut that saves you an extra 10 minutes!!

    AWESOME

  7. Searching painstakingly on the Internet or at the mall for HOURS and then finding exactly what you where looking for. Bonus points if it was some sunglasses or an article of clothing and it fits PERFECTLY
    AWESOME

  8. Identifying the secret ingredient in a dish.

    Another case solved by Detective Tongue. He’s had his Tastebuds working overtime on this one. There were false leads and red herrings. And in a dangerous, murky place like Mouth City who can you turn to for help? The Teeth? You can’t trust a word those guys say. But utilising all his powers of deduction, and with a little help from Sergeant Smell in the nose department, Detective Tongue managed to find that key piece of evidence and crack the case wide open.

    “Is that… coconut?”

    Case closed.

    Awesome.

  9. Going to the register already planning on buying something, and when it is rung up it is on sale!

    Awesome =)

  10. When a police officer lets you go with a warning. Because everyone knows that horrible feeling when you look into your rear view mirror and see those red and blue flashing lights.

    1. for sure!
      or speeding by a parked police car but it doesn’t pull up behind you and you DON’T even see the red and blue lights.
      what relief. AWESOME INDEED!

    2. Or
      When a cop comes up behind you with its lights on and you pull over, scared…and then he just passes you to get the car in front of you.

  11. What’s awesome? Walking (or running) for a cause!! There are 5k events a-plenty to provide an active and fun way to support whatever cause touches your heart. My favorite? The ACS’s Relay for life! Everyone’s touched by cancer in one way or another. For me, a 7 year survivor, it’s very personal. All it takes to make a difference in putting one foot in front of another!

    1. I know, Relay’s not a 5k, but you get my drift! Getting involved in whatever cause is AWESOME!

      1. That is awesome!! I always do an annual 5k run and a 10k walk, It is also great when you have friends or siblings to compete against too!!!

  12. Something AWESOME is having someone read your written work and laugh out loud while you watch them experience the joy of your creativity!

  13. Finding the funny in the bad

    Last summer I broke up with my long-term boyfriend. It wasn’t my choice and the circumstances were less than pleasant. We were sharing a house, so things were kind of awkward.

    Then one night I came home to find half of everything gone.

    Yep, he had sceduled a fake viewing of the house to keep me out of it so that he could clean out his furniture and take first pick of shared belongings. He went so far as to unpack boxes of my stuff so that he could take that with him. He also tried to stick me with the house bills and tried to charge me rent to live in my own house. He broke in one morning while I was out and was threatening and intimidating. It was pretty traumatic at the time. (I really needed a lot of good, long hugs).

    When I got set up in my new place and started unpacking I was trying to take stock of what I would have to replace and what I would have to return to him. This is when I noticed that he had taken the time to steal the beaters to my hand mixer. Not the whole hand mixer, mind you, just the beaters.

    That is just too absurd to be anything but hilarious.

  14. I would say:

    “Really nice and well kept reststops.”

    They’re always a pleasant and very unexpected surprise after holding your liquids in for hours on the road! Especially when they’re clean, heated, and nice!

  15. Toast.
    Such a simple thing, but such an awesome comfort food. A slice of bread toasted to golden perfection and slathered with real butter and jam (or cinnamon sugar or honey).
    The first warm crunchy bite..so satisfying!
    AWESOME!

    1. I love toast! It heals you when you’re sick, AND it’s a good way to use up stale bread! And if you’re sick and all you have in the house is stale bread, you’re golden!

  16. Making a wonderful meal – worried that you think it isn’t good enough – finding that not only are there no leftovers but everyone finished every single bite on their plates AND they all want the recipe! Yes!

  17. Although being sick is so not awesome there is one really great feeling that comes with it. When you have a cold and you have a coughing or sneezing fit you always feel so great when it’s over. It’s like the cough or sneeze cleared you airways and you feel such a sweet relief. Of course an hour later your all congested again but then you just cough/sneeze it away!

  18. when your parents ups the phone up the dog like he/she can say to you… awesome yet embarrassing

  19. when old/hard of hearing people talk on a cell phone when its on speaker even though the phone is to their ear- awesome and funny to watch as well

  20. Hearing all the appliances come back to life after a power outage.

    The sound of wind and rain spattering against your window woke you up sometime during the night, but exactly when is anyone’s guess because there was only a black hole where the clock’s LED display should have been. With the storm howling outside, the house was already getting cold, and you spent the rest of the night in an uneasy half-sleep. When it got light enough to find your way around, the power was still out.

    So there you are with no heat, no light, no running water, no telephone. You are truly powerless, cut off from the rest of the world.

    You bundle up and try settling down on the couch to catch up with your reading, but as the hours drag on, your mind keeps coming back to those nagging questions for which you have no answers: How long is going to be out? Hours? Days? A week, like after last year’s ice storm? Do the utilities even know it’s out? Am I the only one? Or has the world ended? You’re cold, hungry, dirty, caffeine-deprived, and in restless, uneasy mid-ponder when all of a sudden the furnace rumbles into life, the clackity-clack answering machine resets itself, the refrigerator starts humming, and all the digital clocks start flashing 12:00. It’s back, and you’re more relieved than you care to admit. It’s going to be an Awesome day after all!

  21. Leaving work early.

    Whether it’s because you scheduled a doctor’s appointment or were simply let go early because it was slow, leaving work before you’re scheduled to go home is always always AWESOME!

  22. I love it when I’m driving and listening to music and the song ends just when I stop the car. Sometimes I even try to do that on purpose but it just won’t work that way… Anyways, it’s awesome :)

  23. I like to call it the laundry lottery. When you’re down to your last buck and discover a $20 that fell out of your jeans pocket in the dryer. Awesome!

  24. It is completely AWESOME when someone actually thanks you for letting them into your lane. Living in Southern California this rarely happens, but it always makes me smile when someone waves to thank me for giving them the time to move into my lane – especially when traffic really sucks. It make it more bearable and is a reminder to me to do the same thing. This world needs more ‘please and thank yous.’

  25. Putting your iPod on shuffle and having that perfect song you would have never picked come on.

    Also,Going #2 in an empty public restroom.

    You have to go so badly. You can barely handle it. You walk into the restroom and breathe the biggest sigh of relief when you see that you are alone! You are good to go, literally.

  26. My favorite is when you spend all day thinking it’s Thursday then remember it’s Friday.

  27. When you are listening to music on the radio, iPod or anything and you recognize it and know you have the CD and are able to tell which song is next.

    This happens to me all the time when I’m listening to my iPod in shuffle and I usually just start singing the song that was next in the CD, not the one that came on!

  28. Finally peeing after holding it in for a long time and almost bursting.

    Let’s face it. We’ve all been here. Whether it is at a long road trip where you didn’t go in the last stop and you suddenly got the urges, or if you don’t like using public restrooms finally peeong after holding it in is one awesome feeling. (This also applies to number 2)

  29. Drinking water from the hose on a hot summer day!

    Your so caught up in playing, parched from a game of tag. No need to go inside for a glass of water, drinking icy goodness from the hose will do the job. Just take a quick sip, or gulp it down like a camel and pass the hose to the next person in line.

    AWESOME!

    1. I love the taste of hose water. It just tastes different than tap water or bottled water. Maybe someone should bottle hose water.

  30. popping the champagne cork

    Does anything else say party quite like the hollow Pop! from the champagne cork? There’s even two sides to this glory – the popper and the poppee.

    The Magic of the Popper – You get the chance to show off your stuff. You can be super splashy and fun, and make the champagne fountain like a bubbly rain from God. This often makes you very popular with the poppees, who now know there is fresh bubbly to be had, and come swarming with talk and empty glasses. Or you can be quietly professional, opening that bottle with a twist, pop, fizz. Your reward here is the tiny cold steam that emerges from the ice-cold bottle. This is champagne’s way of saying, “You got game, bro. Now drink up. I’m ice-cold and fresh.”

    The Magic of the Poppee – See that champagne spout, and holler. Make a beeline to the cold, fresh fizz. Notice someone secretly opening a new bottle and join the In Club – you know where to get the skinny, and more for you since you were observant.

    Any way you enjoy the champagne cork pop, there is no way to deny that it is plainly, simply, bubbly

    AWESOME!

  31. Having people in the office remember your birthday. Because nothing compares to a surprise office birthday cake or balloons and donuts at your desk.

    1. I do this!! Whenever I look out the peep hole to my office, the view is kinda like a fishbowl. The two doors across the hall make the eyes and the rug is the smiling mouth.
      I was walking a couple days ago and on the sidewalk there was two rocks and a bent stick. It was frowning but it still made me smile. My daughter said the sidewalk was sad because we were walking on it.

  32. Finding out you actually like something that you didn’t like as a kid.

    I used to hate Onions, tomatoes, asparagus and honey mustard. Now, I can’t get enough.

    It’s awesome to realize that the food items you have been avoiding all these years actually taste good to you now. It’s as if your taste buds have evolved.

    So here’s to an “In n Out Burger” fully loaded, because holding the onions and tomatoes would just be a crime!

    AWESOME!

    1. I am still re-discovering foods I hated as a kid. But it has a catch-22 effect. The Kool-aid, black olives and black licorice I loved as a kid make me want to gag now. Way to go changing taste buds!

    2. I use to hate olives, but I ate them a lot in middle school just to gross out other people cuz they didn’t like them either. After eating them so many times, I like them.

  33. Making an obscure reference to a friend which would be a quite good joke if they respond properly. Then they say the exact thing you were thinking, you both laugh and it becomes a long-running inside joke.

  34. When you wake up, and you know that today is going to be a good day.

    Yesterday might have been terrible, and you don’t have anything special planned today, but as the sun streams in the windows and you stretch your arms and give a big yawn, you get this little feeling inside you: today’s going to be great.

    You don’t know why yet, but as you get out of bed, you have a little strut to your step and you can tell that the world is going to work with you today.

    AWESOME

  35. Changing the order of your furniture in your room. Everything looks so new and fresh and you don’t even have to buy anything new! Everyone should do this about once a year so they wouldn’t get tired of their room/apartment!

  36. When the red light turns green RIGHT before you come to a complete stop.
    The whole time as you approach you’re thinking “turn green turn green” and even as you begin to slow down you try and wait it out as long as possible so you don’t have to come to a halt. THEN, the light turns green, allowing you to continue your journey almost uninterrupted. =)!

      1. Alex B – awesome things are never FAILs!

        It just means that this particular thing is so awesome that its even more universal than you thought!

        Just think of it as extra awesome!

  37. Private jokes

    There’s nothing better than private jokes shared with old friends. All you have to do is say one word or phrase that reminds you both of something hysterical your dowdy teacher said in 7th grade English class, or that time you spit milk all over the back of a stranger’s head, or the funniest line in the cheasiest movie you saw together, and you’re off & running, laughing uncontrollably. You & your private-joke-sharing friend can try all you want to explain the story to someone else, but in the end, it’s only funny to you, and that’s what makes it AWESOME.

  38. When you turn to the TV Guide just as it is starting back at the first channel!
    Awesome!

  39. Finding a great new font. Because…well, is there ANYTHING more generic than “Times New Roman”? or, blech, Ariel. I’m talking some Papyrus or suddenly realizing that Georgia is not just a state, it’s a beautiful font! Look at those rounded edges, and does the lower case g look like the number 8? New fonts inspire new thoughts…AWESOME!

  40. Opening the door of a running clothes dryer, throwing in the wet item to be added, and shutting it, fast enough that the dryer never stops. Score! What does that save? I don’t know, like three seconds and a button push, but it feels so efficient!

    1. As long as you do a good job of cutting it. When I was little my mom would cut tags off but not close enough to the seam….they just became more annoying and scratchy. Definitely not awesome!

  41. When you’re watching a movie or television show and spot a place you’ve been.

    Especially with friends who went there with you. My friends and I were watching a movie set in New York City about a year after a trip we had taken there and they showed a small, completely not famous pier that we had seen and take photos near. We got so excited we were laughing and talking about it for weeks.

    Alternative:

    When you are watching a movie and you see one of the main characters wearing clothing you own, or with the same binder/backpack/cell phone as you.

    I have a funny flower lamp in my room and I’ll never forget the time I was watching a Disney Channel movie and saw it sitting in the main character’s bedroom. I have no idea why it was so exciting to me but it definitely was.

    (The movie was Pixel Perfect if anyone remembers, lol)

    1. This is awesome. I was once watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and she is wearing this pair of light blue pajamas with sheep on them. And I own exactly those same patterned pjs. I even made my roommate watch the scene and showed her my pjs.

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