Category: Awesome Things

Coming out of the subway, heading to the airport gates, or moseying back to the office after lunch, you occasionally walk with a friend and hit this classic fork in the road. On the right is a smooth-moving escalator with a bit of traffic and on the left is a wide-open set of stairs.

As your friend continues chatting and takes the first step onto the escalator, you cut off the conversation and leap onto the stairs.

Now the race is on.

Jump up those stairs, take them two at a time, do what you need to do, just chase the racing bunny that is your friend’s smooth-moving head all the way up. And if your buddy starts walking up the escalator, make no mistake: They are cheating. And if they hit a wall of tourists taking pictures or a family with a smuggled stroller gumming up the lanes, make no mistake: They knew the risks.

If you beat them to the top, it’s time to celebrate by taking gasping, wheezy breaths while grabbing your sides and wiping the sweat off your brow.

Congratulations, friend.

You just burned a calorie.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

OMG.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here

Hey, it’s not like you can play outside, go swimming, ride your bike, or walk to the store. So just flick off the lights, yank open the blinds, and stare out the window at the majestic streaks of bright lightning cracking down all around you.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

When I was six I rode in the front seat of a toboggan that ended up losing control and steering sideways into a barbed wire fence. My forehead shredded, hot tears racing down my cheeks, I learned at that moment that things can unravel real quick on those steep, snow covered hills.

Yes, a rocky start and some poor weight distribution push the toboggan hard into the slick and slippery snow which sprays sharp ice chunks into your eyes and ears. Things get swervy when your buddy jumps off the back which causes you to completely lose control and gain speed just in time to notice the creek bed coming up quick in front of you.

You have no choice at this point. Even though it means hitting the ground hard, twisting your ankle, and possibly rolling down half the hill, you just gotta do it.

Bail for the moment. Bail for the memories.

And bail for your life.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

Close door people, we see you.

Don’t pretend you don’t know what we’re talking about. We see you duck into the elevator twenty steps before us in the lobby and tap-tap-tap that Close Door button so you can score a slightly faster ride. What, you think we don’t notice your attempts to avoid eye contact? Oh, we do, and we don’t like you for it, either.

No, the people we like are a different sort of people. They’re Open Door people. They’re the ones with the bruises on their forearms, tapping the Open button, and popping their head out to ask innocently “Going up?”

Why yes, we are going up. Why yes, we would love to share the lift with you. Why yes, we’ll smile and thank you for holding it. And why yes, we’ll keep it open when we see you coming the next time, too.

Now let’s all hug and chug-a-lug home.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

Congratulations on scoring some back-scratching love.

Convincing a special someone to scrape their fingernails across your unreachables is a big accomplishment. Once the magic starts, make sure you close your eyes, purse your lips, and throw out some deep mmmmm’s to keep it coming.

And sure, there may be some ticklish moments on your shoulder blades, some unnecessary clawing at your lower back fat, but once in a while, when you least expect it, the scratcher will change direction and suddenly move their hands right onto that one really, really itchy spot.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

I’m a non-stop twiddler.

Weaving through traffic, speeding down the ramps, cruising through the city, I’ve got one hand on the wheel and the other tapping through the radio dials.

Sure, I swing by for traffic and weather, but then I’m off — checking if the host is back on my main station, cruising by the backups to see what’s playing, or even stopping in for a couple innings of the ball game.

Once in a while I end up on a station I don’t visit very often just as the opening notes are kicking in for one of my old favorites. As the drum kicks and guitar strums jolt my memory back and scratch my brain stem just the right way, I smile and settle in for a few minutes of head-bopping bliss on the drive home.

AWESOME!

Illustration from: here

Photo from: here

Nobody wants to finish on a downer.

If you aren’t careful the last bite of your lunch will be a big chomp of dry crusts and lettuce scraps. Your mouth will finish on a lame and boring note with the delicious middle bites from minutes ago lost in a dry, crusty haze.

Don’t let it happen to you!

Put your time in at the beginning, sacrifice early nibbles and take care of all the corners, and set yourself up for a deliciously fresh and soft, ham-and-cheesy finale to finish off your lunch.

AWESOME!

Illustration from: here

Photo from: here

Maybe you scarfed a salty bag of chips before bed, had a bit too much at the bars, or woke up on a friend’s old pull-out couch with a mouth full of dust and cat hair.

Either way, when you blink your crusty eyes open and feel your mouth scratching like sandpaper, there’s nothing finer than spotting a calmly waiting glass of water lying just in front of your face.

After silently congratulating the you of last night for good planning, you smile slowly, chug it fast, and snuggle back into your dreamy golden slumbers.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

“No!”

“Don’t, don’t, don’t.”

“Don’t, he’s behind the door.”

“Turn around!”

“Turn around, turn around, turn around!”

“Now kiss her, you idiot.”

AWESOME!

Photo from: here