Office jobs are tough.

I know we cubicle farmhands aren’t exactly hammering diamonds in dusty mineshafts, landing planes in snowy storms, or performing emergency appendectomies.

But still — what we’re doing is complex mail merges to make envelope labels, compiling meeting minutes, and stapling through very thick piles of paper.

It’s demanding.

As a result, sometimes it’s tough getting through the week. When cloudy mornings, barking bosses, and long meetings got you down it’s time to get smiling with some office treats. Today we say thanks to the guy who brings them in — usually in one of five ways:

Level 1: Email Scrambles. A mass email is sent out reading “If anyone wants leftover brownies come to Sheila’s desk NOW!!!” Be careful because if you’re away from your desk you have to listen for slamming keyboard trays and quietly shuffling gang herds swishing down the hallway. When you spot a sugar rush like this there’s no time to waste — just jump in and get going. Slowing to tip someone off means no brownies for you. (2 points)

Level 2: Treat Fairies. This is the plate of lemon danishes someone leaves on a filing cabinet in the hallway or the box of donuts sitting in the lunchroom from yesterday night. Office raccoons like myself love finding goodies from Treat Fairies but they lose marks for freshness and selection. (5 points)

Level 3: Post Vacation Sugar Nation. Who came back from Japan with a bag of animated cat-themed jellies? Who got home from Switzerland with smooth chocolate loving? And what nut brought that bag of Ketchup chips from Canada? Yes, Post Vacation Sugar Nation help us forgive you for doing all your work for two weeks and they score points for their limited time nature and big surprise factor. Unfortunately, we can’t rank them higher due to the off chance of eating a candy-coated scorpion. (10 points)

Level 4 : Holiday Treatery. It’s all about that random moment near Christmas when cookies suddenly appear everywhere. When the admin’s homemade shortbread dukes it out with the Vice President’s expensive store-bought fudge the big winner is your stomach. See also: Girl Scout Cookie Scattering, Post-Halloween Dump, and After-Easter Eggathon. (15 points)

Level 5: Local Favorites. My friend Kristen works in a cubicle farm in smalltown Wisconsin where the local treat is a pastry called the Kringle. She told me that one guy brings Kringles to the office and everyone gets a special flavor which becomes their identity. She hates it when Banana Nut hogs the photocopier but loves it when Vanilla Cream ends the meeting early. You get the idea. Bringing in personalized local faves is the ultimate in Office Treatery. (20 points)

Yes, there are so many ways to get the treats going and the office flowing for the Friday night Funrise. So today we’re giving handshakes and high fives way up to the high skies for all those noble Cubicle Warriors bringing sugary sweets and tasty treats to pump us up for the weekend.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, here, and here

When the bass kicks in the song kicks up to a whole new part of its game. Your head starts grooving, your arms start moving, and everything inside you just wants to dance.

AWESOME!

Why hello, little cup of strawberry-banana punch. How you doing, pepper-dill crackers? Don’t mind if I do, spicy salami wrapped around a piece of melon.

Yes, eating a free sample of something you have no intention of buying is a great way to stay on top of what’s happening at the grocery store. You swish the new drink, chew the new gum, toss back a tiny cup of the new pasta dinner, and introduce your tastebuds to a little surprise.

Assuming you don’t actually like the product, maybe you do what I do and pretend you’re going to buy it anyway so you don’t hurt the sweet, heavily lipsticked Sample Lady’s feeling. So you pick up the box of dry crackers, salty salami, or all-noodle-no-cheese lasagna and say, “Hmmm. $4.29? Not bad, not bad. And I get a fifty-cents-off coupon too? Hmmm.” Then you smile back at her, toss it in your cart, and say, “Why not! Thank you very much!”

Then you roll out of sight and guiltily drop it in another aisle.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

I started writing 1000 Awesome Things on June 20, 2008 as my life was swirling and twirling.

It seemed like every day was cloudy as every morning I’d wheel my car up icy onramps straight into red-light traffic jams to head to my office job in the suburbs. Then I’d wheel back home the same way, every day. Frozen burritos and back pain, up those ramps and down again, my life seemed stuck in neutral with a black scribbly cloud above my head.

One night after work I went online and typed “How to start a blog” into Google. Ten minutes later I wrote #1000 Broccoflower for a quick smile before bed. As my marriage crumbled like crackers, as my best friend sadly took his own life, I was trying to push from back pain to grass stains and from microwaves to wedding buffets.

Nobody visited the site except for my mom. Although I did get pretty excited when she forwarded it to my dad and the traffic doubled. Then on July 18, 2008 Fark.com linked to old, dangerous playground equipment and thousands of people suddenly came in waves. It was strange thinking that cyber travellers spinning on the other side of the planet maybe thought broccoflower was funny, too.

And here we are in 2011 after jotting down one awesome thing every weekday for the past three years and it’s been such a rush. I feel so massively lucky that I’ve had a few extra hours each week to chat with you all about bakery air, rain hair, bubble wrap, and illegal naps.

The Book of (Even More) Awesome comes out today and the first book has been #1 on bestseller lists for a year. Cybernerds called us best blog in the world and next week the awesome movement hits The Today Show before flying around to meet awesome believers everywhere.

I don’t know how to thank you for all of this.

The only way I can think of is to say thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for reading, thank you for listening, thank you for commenting, and thank you for spreading our big screaming all-caps word of

AWESOME!

Flap, flap, flap.

It’s gut check time.

Scientists suggest the fluttery feeling of buttery flies in your tum tum just comes from blood flowing away from your digestive system and zooming everywhere else in your body. Yeah, you know how it goes: your beady-eyed pal adrenaline starts playing that fight-or-flight soundtrack and suddenly it’s fists at ready, legs at the ready, everything else on standby.

Ten hut!

Ears awake, eyes open, deep breaths in bed, let’s get all systems ready for the big day ahead.

Because when you get the good kind of stomach butterflies it means you’re burning and buzzing about a big day. After rehearsing for months your play finally comes, after that electric first kiss you’re dreaming about bliss, after practicing all year the big game is here.

Yes, when your mind opens up, when your path starts to clear, when you know where you’re going, when you start to get near… well those are the moments we live for and those are the times to go long, yes those are the moments to go for and those are the times to be strong.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here and here

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

Erik and Danny have a baby.

I was at a wedding a few months back and bumped into the fresh parents after missing them for a few years. They’ve popped out a couple pumpkins since I saw them at school so our visit was full of adorable photos, diaper horror stories, and tall tales of terrible teething.

One of the best stories they told me was when they took their son Jaden to the park near their house. It was a sunny day and there were piles of snot-nosed rugrats running around screaming with eyes full of fire and fists full of sand.

Erik and Danny set up shop on a park bench and watched as Jaden wobbled over to a nearby baby who was playing alone at the foot of her parents. She was naked except for a puffy diaper and she looked up with big Bambi eyes as Jaden teetered over and looked down at her. They watched with interest as Jaden slowly offered her the rest of the soggy cracker he was eating … and then watched as the little girl’s eyes grew wide as saucers and she smiled a beaming smile.

Then she paused.

It looked like she was thinking hard for a brief moment before she suddenly… tore off her diaper, handed it to him, and ran off naked!

They burst out laughing but were also genuinely touched at this chubby-legged infant’s big hearted move to share some baby to baby love. She literally handed him the only thing she had and then blushed before seeking refuge in the slides.

And whether it’s handing off a soggy cracker, tearing off a diaper, or holding sweaty hands across the street, there’s something picture-perfect about tiny scenes of tiny loving that remind us most folks are pretty kind … and pretty sweet.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

Scratch the crusty grill with the fraying wire brush so all the tiny black flecks spray on your baggy khaki shorts. Twist open the spiderweb-covered propane tank or light the charcoal and then go inside to assemble your plastic tray of food.

Bring out the sauce-smeared drumsticks, homemade hamburgers, or slippery wieners and toss them on there. Let the meat sizzle as you fill the backyard, deck, and neighborhood with that beautifully smoky smell of

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

Welcome to the saloon.

Jump off your tired horse, kick your cowboy boots together, and step through the swinging gates into your home away from home. Dusty sunbeams streak through dirty stained-glass windows and shadows fall on your closest friends laughing in a dank and dirty world away from it all. Tip your hat at the girl across the room, slap your pals on the back, and slip onto a cozy stool to trade stories and jokes with the bartender and catch up on all the gossip you missed.

Welcome to the saloon.

Jump onto your cell phone, check your text messages, and log into your email to catch up on forwards from friends. Bleeps and bloops ring from plastic screens as you share laughs with faces in a secret digital world away from it all. Poke the boy across the room, catch up on blogs, and instant message all your friends while skimming all the comments and one-liners you missed.

Losing cell phone service is like temporarily leaving the saloon and heading into the chilly night air for a crisp midnight walk down the black roads of your hometown. It’s a refreshing feeling of clearing your head, finding your thoughts, and finally floating alone through our webby world of loose connections.

It can feel great to walk away from it all. But it sure can feel great to pop back in.

Getting cell phone service back after not having it for a while is like stepping through the swinging doors and joining us all back in the saloon.

Welcome home.

AWESOME!

I’d love to meet you Tuesday, April 26th at The Book of (Even More) Awesome book launch at the Indigo Manulife  in Toronto.

Photos from: here and here

I’m pretty forgetful.

I forget keys in my pants, food in my microwave, and words at the end of my.

Being forgetful is a terrible thing. Seriously, if you’ve ever tapped your empty pockets in front of your locked front door you know exactly how painful it can be.

Fortunately we live in a bright and modern Future World where decades of cutting edge research has resulted in breakthrough technological advances that give us a way to remember all the things we’d otherwise leave behind.

I’m talking about throwing them in your shoe, people.

It’s an ingenious and failproof scientific system of helping your Future Self out whenever you think your Current Self might leave something behind.

Yes, putting things in your shoe so you don’t forget them later.

Works for everything except babies, raw eggs, and Micro Machines.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here