Everybody loves cartoons.

Ain’t it fun cuddling up under the blanket or plopping down on the plushy seats and getting absorbed in the tall tales about lost clown fish, tough-talking great white sharks, or Parisian sewer rats with dreams of becoming five-star chefs?

Yes, after the movie starts rolling and you fall into the cartoon fantasy, there’s always that moment where a new character enters the story and starts stealing the scene. And everyone recognizes the voice and everyone knows the voice, but without a visual it’s tough guessing which big name star’s sweating in the dark studio holding crumpled sheets of printed lines wearing giant Princess Leia head phones.

That’s why it’s great when the electrons suddenly go boom in someone’s brain and they jump up and scream out a name. Then everyone smiles and laughs and breathes a big sigh of recognition relaxation. Oh sure, sometimes there’s online fact-checking or the occasional wait-till-the-credits confirmation, but how sweet is it when someone just shouts it out and totally nails it?

Pretty sure we all know the answer to that.

AWESOME!

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.

Yes, in terms of Kitchen Anticipation not much compares with yanking out a steaming, freeze-chilled carton of cold n’ creamy from the back of the freezer. Bowls hit the table, spoons clink on the countertop, and the carton starts frosting up as you peel back the lid.

Stare deep into the light pink swirls, cookie dough chunks, or vanilla bean dust looking up at you, but before you plant your spoon deep into the silky smooth layer, make sure you scrape off the milky fresh and creamy soft bit stuck to the bottom of the carton.

It’s your ice cream appetizer.

AWESOME!

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Stepping on someone else’s sharp, jabby toenail shard is a painful and disgusting moment. Basically, it has the same creep-out factor as poking a dead bee laying in your windowsill or accidentally crushing a hollow, dusty skull on your tour through the catacombs.

Now, on the other hand, when your toenail suddenly blasts off into outer living room and you manage to find that nearly invisible sucker hiding in the shaggy carpet, well that’s a pretty great feeling.

Good work, Sherlock Toenail.

You cracked the case.

AWESOME!

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Photo from: here

It’s just so satisfying to look down at the clumps of hair shards covering the floor of the salon and think to yourself “That just came off of me!” Of course, the runner up to this feeling is when you notice a big hair haystack clinging for dear life onto your slippery nylon apron and then you just flick your fingers underneath it so it slides slowly down to its doom.

AWESOME!

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Walk into a grocery store and you’re surrounded by freshly misted lettuce, bubbling lobster tanks, and hot croissants rolling out of the oven. With your pupils dilated and mouth watering, there’s nothing finer than rolling your crookedy-wheel cart by the deli counter and making some subtle eye contact with the deli man.

Yeah, you know it and they know it: when you’re surrounded by fresh food in all directions you suddenly start jonesing for a fix. So you press your hands on the curved glass and gaze longingly at the giant hunks of pink and salty goodness shining at you from under the bright lights.

Then you know what you gotta do: make your order, reach your hands out, and get ready for those thinly shaved slices of salami to touch your tongue and send you on a trip far, far away.

AWESOME!

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Peel back that mildewy curtain and let’s get down to business.

Freshly soaped and squeaky clean your wet n’ steamy self towels dry and rolls on some Stink-B-Gone deodorant. But just before you pop from the hot steamroom into the goosebumpy hallway, it’s time to stop for a moment and be a finger-painting Picasso.

Yes, for a minute let the blurry morning haze and the upcoming stresses of school or work melt down and fade away as you start streaking your fingers up and down the steamy glass.

Crowds slowly gather at this stormy seashore and look over your shoulder as you calmly and quickly paint pretty pictures on your cliffside easel. Soon clouds part and the sun glimmers off the distant ocean waves as strangers stop walking their dogs, kids peek over from the ball diamond, and old folks hold hands and smile as you whip up masterpiece after masterpiece. Images pop up as they ooh and ahh — it’s a happy face, a heart, a house with smoke coming out the chimney, or a love letter waiting for the next person to have a shower.

Sure, in a few minutes the mirror fades to clear and your paintings drift away. But for an instant you’re a naked artist, brushing up against greatness, fame, and a cluttery bathroom counter.

AWESOME!

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Sorry, you need my email address?

Sure, no problem open house real estate agent, clothing store mailing list, or random membership-required website.

Hit me up at idontcheckthisaccount @sorryaboutthat.com

AWESOME!

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Because at that moment you go from a greasy slack-jawed popcorn-kernel-n-sweatpants covered couch potato to a fast-talking screenwriter with sharp eyes, a whizzing mind, and a backup second career.

AWESOME!

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Photo from: here

Diced tomatoes?

Sure, Aisle 6, three quarters of the way back, two shelves below the kidney beans.

They’re on sale this week.

AWESOME!

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Photo from: here

Okay, you know how good it feels when you peel your socks off at the end of the day? You know how your crinkly leg hairs all get a chance to relax, stretch out, and breathe a sigh of relief?

Well, taking out your ponytail is like that times a million.

All your hair unbends and finally points the other direction. Shivers shake down your spine as you bend your neck and shake your hair out. Yes, all the pressure just melts away and it feels like an instant scalp massage. Plus, if you tied your shaggy mane up when it was wet then it’s even better because somehow everything was twisted even tighter up in there.

Taking your ponytail out is the getting comfy equivalent of putting on your PJs, taking your bra off at the end of the day, or twisting around all your sheets and blankets in the middle of the night till you get ’em jusssssssssst right.

AWESOME!

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