AWESOME!
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Category: Awesome Things
#683 Finding a container with last night’s leftover restaurant dinner in your fridge
Scope this scene.
End of the meal at the back of a dimly lit restaurant, your belly bursting with bowls of bread, free soda refills, sugary salad, and half a giant stir-fry, you’re thinking twice about the waiter’s offer to wrap up your meal. After all, the thought of one more forkful of soy-sauce drenched snow peas makes you gag and the image of lugging a drippy Styrofoam container to the movies ain’t appealing.
But there’s peer pressure.
Somebody chimes in with a “Oh come on, get it to go, you’ve got like half your meal left” and another helpfully adds “Think about it, you’ll probably eat it later tonight. Better than bar food.”
So you look around the table and quietly burp into your mouth before nodding to the waiter with a reluctant half-smile. And then you drag that doggie-bag around town and toss it in your fridge before bed, completely forgetting about it until you groggily look for breakfast the next morning.
When you peel open your fridge door the Styrofoam container is just beaming back at you like a treasure chest full of gold at the bottom of the ocean.
“Hello,” it seems to say. “I’ve been waiting.”
Your pupils dilate, your mouth starts watering, and you swipe a fork for a delicious cold and salty wake up call.
AWESOME!
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#684 Being so excited you leave your bike helmet on
Do you ever see kids on the playground with their bike helmets on?
Sometimes you spot them riding up to the sandy lots with heads full of steam and eyes staring forward with steely determination. They are on a mission to get some playing in, buddy. And nothing’s going to get in their way.
Nope, not even pausing for a minute to unclasp their bike helmet. Are you kidding? They are in such a rush that they bail on the bike, run across the sand, and jump on the jungle gym with their helmet bobbing all over the place in one majestic, sweeping move.
Good times.
AWESOME!
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#685 Taking the stairs beside somebody taking the escalator and going faster than them
Coming out of the subway, heading to the airport gates, or moseying back to the office after lunch, you occasionally walk with a friend and hit this classic fork in the road. On the right is a smooth-moving escalator with a bit of traffic and on the left is a wide-open set of stairs.
As your friend continues chatting and takes the first step onto the escalator, you cut off the conversation and leap onto the stairs.
Now the race is on.
Jump up those stairs, take them two at a time, do what you need to do, just chase the racing bunny that is your friend’s smooth-moving head all the way up. And if your buddy starts walking up the escalator, make no mistake: They are cheating. And if they hit a wall of tourists taking pictures or a family with a smuggled stroller gumming up the lanes, make no mistake: They knew the risks.
If you beat them to the top, it’s time to celebrate by taking gasping, wheezy breaths while grabbing your sides and wiping the sweat off your brow.
Congratulations, friend.
You just burned a calorie.
AWESOME!
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#687 Turning off all the lights and opening the blinds during a thunderstorm
Hey, it’s not like you can play outside, go swimming, ride your bike, or walk to the store. So just flick off the lights, yank open the blinds, and stare out the window at the majestic streaks of bright lightning cracking down all around you.
AWESOME!
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#688 Jumping off the toboggan
When I was six I rode in the front seat of a toboggan that ended up losing control and steering sideways into a barbed wire fence. My forehead shredded, hot tears racing down my cheeks, I learned at that moment that things can unravel real quick on those steep, snow covered hills.
Yes, a rocky start and some poor weight distribution push the toboggan hard into the slick and slippery snow which sprays sharp ice chunks into your eyes and ears. Things get swervy when your buddy jumps off the back which causes you to completely lose control and gain speed just in time to notice the creek bed coming up quick in front of you.
You have no choice at this point. Even though it means hitting the ground hard, twisting your ankle, and possibly rolling down half the hill, you just gotta do it.
Bail for the moment. Bail for the memories.
And bail for your life.
AWESOME!
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#689 When somebody holds the elevator door for you even though they totally could have let it close
Close door people, we see you.
Don’t pretend you don’t know what we’re talking about. We see you duck into the elevator twenty steps before us in the lobby and tap-tap-tap that Close Door button so you can score a slightly faster ride. What, you think we don’t notice your attempts to avoid eye contact? Oh, we do, and we don’t like you for it, either.
No, the people we like are a different sort of people. They’re Open Door people. They’re the ones with the bruises on their forearms, tapping the Open button, and popping their head out to ask innocently “Going up?”
Why yes, we are going up. Why yes, we would love to share the lift with you. Why yes, we’ll smile and thank you for holding it. And why yes, we’ll keep it open when we see you coming the next time, too.
Now let’s all hug and chug-a-lug home.
AWESOME!
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#690 When the person scratching your back finds that one really itchy spot and stays there for a while
Congratulations on scoring some back-scratching love.
Convincing a special someone to scrape their fingernails across your unreachables is a big accomplishment. Once the magic starts, make sure you close your eyes, purse your lips, and throw out some deep mmmmm’s to keep it coming.
And sure, there may be some ticklish moments on your shoulder blades, some unnecessary clawing at your lower back fat, but once in a while, when you least expect it, the scratcher will change direction and suddenly move their hands right onto that one really, really itchy spot.
AWESOME!
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