These are the rules of the sea.
If you’re on a boat you must wave to anyone who waves at you from another boat, you must wave to anyone who waves at you from land, and you must initiate waving to as many other boats as possible.
The only way you can avoid these rules is if you’re a dog, or a pirate, or both.
AWESOME!
Forget speeding up, forget slowing down, forget twisting your neck in twelve different directions.
Nope, now’s your chance to calmly merge without any worries and enjoy a smooth and relaxing drive home.
AWESOME!
Photo from: here
Plastic wrap is trouble.
When you’re peeling a new sheet from the flimsy cardboard box I’ve got just two words for you: watch out. We both know that plastic wrap loves blowing in the wind and get all stuck to its bad self.
Next thing you know you’re trying to frantically unpeel it, but unfortunately more and more just keeps getting stuck together. If you’re like me, this is when you realize that the plastic wrap has defeated you. With your blood boiling you roll the wrap into a tight white ball and toss it in the trash.
Now it’s time for round two.
Stare back at the cold potato salad on your countertop, steady your eyes on the thin cardboard box… and picture holding that cover tightly, pulling that wrap smoothly, and shredding that plastic swiftly on the tiny teeth. Then crack your neck, loosen your shoulders, and swallow hard before diving in…
Come in with purpose, come in with power, and just slice that wrap into one long and beautifully smooth sheet.
AWESOME!
Thanks, surprise full-length mirror.
Without stopping our struts we’re able to sneak secret glances in your silvery buildings, glossy storefronts, or silent lakes. We stare superfast so strangers don’t think we’re mistaking the sidewalk for a runway. Of course, we manage to look long enough to see our shirts hanging just right and our hair having a good day.
Nobody needs to know our self-motivation secrets.
AWESOME!
Photo from: here
We took a trip last weekend.
My friends Mike and Jes had a baby so we jumped in a car and headed down the highway to visit the three-month old pile of diapers, flab, and giggly charm.
She was a stunner, too — cute and cuddly, silent and smiling, she was passed around like a hot potato for a few hours on Saturday afternoon. Now, I have no idea how to hold a baby so when someone passed me the potato I held her up by the armpits about two feet above my head. She gave me a patient smile and a weary sigh that seemed to say “Buddy, seriously?”
While I had her up there I couldn’t stop staring at her tiny feet. I mean, they were the size of hotel shampoo bottles and had ten wiggling toes searching for support way up in the living room stratosphere. All the toes were so small and had microscopic little toenails — even that tiny baby toenail, which as we all know never changes in size.
It’s fun picturing how much those tiny feet are going to do in the future. They’ll be walking this baby every single day, every step of the way. Wrapped in fresh runners on the first day of school, tied tightly in ballet slippers for the big recital, jammed into cleats for the weekend ball tournament, and wedged in hiking shoes for trips cross country. From trampolines to treadmills, from backyards to backpacking, and everything in between, these tiny feet will be clocking up and chalking up everywhere she’s going … and everywhere she’s been.
AWESOME!
Photos from: Mike and Jes and here
Cold pizza is just the beginning.
Now, make no mistake here: breakfast has a lot going for it already. Yeah, we’re talking fresh brewed coffee, sizzling bacon, and hot, fluffy pancakes. Nothing wrong with waking up groggy and heating up the dirty frying pan, flipping down the toaster, or getting that coffee machine dripping. But there’s also something sinful about eating things that have no business being in your mouth before noon:
• Cake. What’s up, last night’s birthday? We were all stuffed when the flaming sugar slab got wheeled up so most people didn’t eat much. Thank goodness someone put it back in the fridge because now it’s time to kickstart the day with a couple icing flowers. Goes great with ice cream.
• Coke. It’s deliciously sinful pouring a tall glass of the brown fizzy at 8:00am. Don’t even try to justify it, either. We understand, friend. We’ve been there too.
• Mix and Match. This is where you stare into your fridge for five minutes and realize you don’t have any good breakfast stuff kicking around. Now it’s time to grab a couple pickles, spoonful of peanut butter, and some slices of bologna before putting the backpack on and running to the bus.
• Regular breakfast food with a key ingredient missing. When we were little my sister Nina got sick and couldn’t eat dairy for a while so she subbed apple juice on her Cheerios. Sure, maybe it’s disgusting, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If you’ve ever smeared strawberry jam on your pancakes or eaten a plate of eggs with a handful of Ritz crackers, then you know what we’re talking about.
• Breakfast Barbecue. Flip on the gas and get grilling. You can try whipping up bacon or eggs out there if you want to keep the classics, but frankly, if you’re ever gonna do dogs and wieners, now’s the time. Great for camping or cottages.
• Leftover takeout. Open up your fridge and get ready for that surprise Styrofoam wake up call. Nothing like some snow peas and cross-cut carrots soaking in an ice-cold bath of soy sauce to get the day started with a salty jolt.
Now, morning is generally time for slow movements and soft tastes. Most of us baby our tongues with oatmeal muffins, scrambled eggs, or some butter on toast. But that’s why it’s fun eating ridiculous things for breakfast once in a while. You’re drawing outside the lines, ripping up the rules, and adding adventure to your morning.
Bring on the day.
AWESOME!
Can you spot a fake?
While flipping magazines at the dentist office or sitting casually at a restaurant table I’ll mindlessly start staring at the flower bouquet and start wondering if they’re real.
I always think they’re fake at first but then my eyebrows furrow and I stare in deeper looking for clues. What’s that, a torn leaf at the back? Wait a minute, is that dirt outside the vase? My eyes widen as I lean in to rub a leaf or two, touch a petal, or take a big sniff.
Sure, it’s risky going in for that inspection because if you find out it’s fake then you just got duped by a flower factory.
But that’s what makes it so sweet when Detective Petals comes up with a winner. Then you lean back satisfied and stare sweetly at the bouquet as suddenly everything’s coming up roses.
AWESOME!
Suddenly the shuffling crowds parts and you’re at the front of the line. Suddenly your boss quits and nobody else can do her job. Suddenly you’re on deck during a late inning tie game. Suddenly your sister’s finished opening her Christmas present.
Suddenly you’re next.
AWESOME!
Photo from: here
